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January 07, 2008

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Bill Heavey's Book Reviewed

Tepid, non-committal reviews of Bill Heavey’s new book, “If You Didn’t Bring Jerky, What Did I Just Eat? Misadventures in Hunting, Fishing and the Wilds of Suburbia,” continue to trickle in, proof that a lot of critics have not read it all that closely.

“Best Book Title” of 2007 – Entertainment Weekly. Nothing abut the author or subject, of course, just the title. (Hey, it’s a start.)

In Heavey's often off-kilter humor, he is the unwashed sporting public. He frequently places himself (as a witless klutz) at the crux of a story and isn't hesitant to provide a refreshing laugh at his own expense.” – Gary Garth, Louisville Courier-Journal. (Hey, unwashed and witless. Beat that, Ernest Hemingway.)

Sure to bring a smile to even the grumpiest person in the land.” – Gene Mueller, The Washington Times. (The guy has obviously never met David E. Petzal.)

Bill Heavey's humor columns make dandy bookmarks.That's a compliment.” - Candus Thomson, Baltimore Sun. (Makes you wonder what she'd say for an insult).

When you read his stories, many of them are about you, and most are the stories you were too ashamed to tell anyone about.” – Tom Remington, Black Bear Blog. (In certain contexts, “shameless” could be, you know, a good thing.)

Order your copy today and treat yourself to that warm feeling of superiority you get when reading about somebody even unluckier than you.


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You know Bill when you Google your name Dave is right there saying:

"I would like to be able to say that I am pleased to introduce Bill Heavey, but that is a crock."

He is not grumpy, is he?


Other reviews:

It took me all of a day and a half to read through the entire book. (Thanks mostly to Heavey's extensive use of 1 and 2-syllable words)

I couldn't put it down. (What was all that sticky stuff?)

It made me laugh (at it's incredulity) and it made me cry (in disappointment).

And, from Comic Book Quarterly: "Holy steaming gutpile, Batman. That guys got a head on him like an eagle."

[Sorry - you can tell the writers are on strike. The scabs are posting on the blogs.]


I got the book for Christmas and have not been able to put it down since. As a fellow suburbia-ridden hunter and fisherman, I find his stories ring all to true. Keep up the fine work Mr. Heavey.

From a stumbling, bumbling fan....

Tommy S.


Reality, Reality, Reality.
I would say your style is refreshingly modest - not a gimmick. Some folks poke fun at themselves and get laughed at. You poke fun at yourself and we laugh with you.
There is a difference.

Sherrill Philip Neese


I keep posting my review but it always seems to end up in the wrong blog. I don't know if I'm just a moron or if it's because I just finished installing a Cook Top for the wife. Luckily, I didn't electrocute myself and the thing actually worked the first time. Amazing, but true. But, I digress... here is the review I originally posted on your 11 December blog and then by mistake on your 20 December blog. Why am I posting it again? Well, if the other guys get to review it, why not me?


"I bought the book for my hunting bud Butch. He hates Christmas, he hates the season, he hates giving gifts and he hates receiving gifts. However, comma, he likes the book and especially that the stories are short. He only reads when he's sitting on the "john" and figures that he can get through three stories at a sitting. That is some major "reading" for him and definite high praise. Bottom line (no pun intended) is that he is a happy camper and recommends the book to others.

He wanted to let me read the book after he finished, but... well... I think I'll just get my own."


Bill -

All joking aside.

Well done. Reading your stories, be it a splendid telling of adventure, gut-kicking grief, or the joys and tribulations of being an outdoorsman, I often wondered if we're twins separated at birth.

The book jacket compares you to another well-known writer/humorist. That other guy writes like a smart aleck. You're better - much better. You write like a man - a man filled with joy, torment, wonder and a wild spirit. Your passion is evident and inspiring. Thank you.

Michael T. Simpson


I'm not one to kiss anyone's posterior, no matter how provocatively they stick it out while caribou stalking, and I'm not going to start now with you. Truthfully, though, I must say the book was EXCELLENT. You have an incredible ability to present life's situations in a way that puts the reader not only physically beside you on your excursions, but emotionally as well. That is a rare talent indeed. What sets you apart from most writers is that you do not convey an attitude of superiority over your readers. Instead, you portray that you are just an every day sportsman just like most of us are. You have been blessed with a huge pulpit from which to speak from (F&S) and we as faithful hearers take heed to your word, which makes us feel a little better about ourselves. Keep up the good work.

Trae B.

Ojay mr.jack two post above me I hope you aint talking about Patrick F. Mcmanus.Its because of him bill and david e. petzal than I read the magizens and I would rather their autographs than any movie or rock star.


Trae B- whoa there, back up.

The book jacket (front flap) compares Heavey to Dave Barry. Barry is a nationally syndicated humor columnist (who writes like a smart aleck). Barry should pray for the day he writes as well as Heavey.

bill heavey

all you guys, thanks for the nice comments. i really appreciate it. damn shame shame none of us has any money. bh

Al Hallowell

Oh Heavey you have done it to me again. You bring tears to the eyes of more rugged outdoorsmen than bear spray. Tears of joy and sorrow and lifes lessons learned. If I could take one guy to deer camp next year it would be you, just to draw attention away from my sometimes moronic actions. Your book will clearly find a permanant home in deer camp. A must read for every man not just outdoorsmen!

Gene Mueller

Since you've seen fit to quote a part of my review in The Washington Times, I'll readily admit that I've never met Heavey. What I need to know now is this: Am I missing something? One other thing, your remark about Candus Thomson of the Baltimore Sun was a bit uncalled for. She's likely to whip your butt if she ever sees you.

Leslie Wilson

This is the perfect book to bring on an airplane since it doesn't take up much space. However, the guy in the seat next to me must have been curious as to what was making me laugh so hard. When I finally put the book down I saw him sneak a look at the cover. I know he did a double take and was taken aback by the illustration, and that a woman was reading it! Well I love it Bill, and am trying to savor it and not read it all at once. I love your articles in F & S and absolutely had to buy this book for myself at Christmas. Keep writing more - I'm addicted!

youre honored-thats more than any amount of money can buy-ive been with my husband for 20 years...fixin to buy it for my husband to celebrate our first hunting season together:) only thing i killed was a rabbit -we r bowhunters. after reading the reviews i cant wait to hear what he thinks of it and to read it myself. keep em comin


An outstanding read. I got this with an amazon.com gift card and it was well spent. My son, however, can't decide between Mr. Heavey or Pat McManus.


excellent book
shows what hunting i like to the othe 99.9% of the public, and not the .1% you see on tv

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