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December 20, 2007

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Give Them Heavey for Christmas

Are you still short a couple of Christmas presents but afraid that if you go back to the mall you’ll lose it, put your head through a plate glass window, and start singing “Grandpa Got Run Over By A Reindeer” until the cops come? Relax, we’ve got you covered.

Bill Heavey’s “If You Didn’t Bring Jerky, What Did I Just Eat?” a selection of his less-offensive writing for Field & Stream, is proving so successful that some book stores are now ordering two copies at a time!  Thing is, they still might be sold out. Even Amazon’s running behind.

Not to worry! You can give the book without having the book. Just order it from your favorite book store or online seller, and present the person with the printable certificate below. And let the cops arrest somebody else for a change.



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Trae B.

ha ha well i quess I got lucky when I ordered mine last wednsday and got it this tuesday.Sorry I would have ordered more books for presents but most of my family not including my parents and sister think im going to go to hell because I hunt.


My wife would have that printed on my tombstone if I actually gave that to her for Christmas!

yo mom

wonder if it is a good book ill have to get it and see


I got your book and can't wait to read it. The first article I read when I get a issue of field and stream is yours. I love it. Your the most realistic person I know. Keep up the good work and keep the fantastic books and articles coming.

I have not started your book yet, but i think the phrase "How do you explain the presence of bottled doe urine in your car to a teenage girl?" is a good touch

bill heavey

yo mom,
of course it's a good book.

and JP,
coupon is meant for your wife to give to you, not other way around. i can't afford to be losing potential readers before their time.

thank you.

and all of a sudden it's xmas eve, which means it's time to start shopping. i can give my own book to just about all my relatives, who will have to pretend they're pleased. that won't work with emma, who requires large stuffed animals, anything Barbie, and Polly Pocket dolls, all of which she will be bored with almost by the time it is unwrapped.

buying this crap goes against every fiber in my cheapskate being. but such is the power of a father's love for his daughter than i'm off to the mall.

merry xmas, everybody.


Britton H


My wife knows I flip to your column with every new issue of F&S. She bought your book for me just after it came out. I had read some of them before but enjoyed all of them again or for the first time. I laughed, I cried, I laughed some more. I'll buy more copies if you promise to KEEP WRITING!!!!

Sherrill Philip Neese


I can see that my previous post, on December 11th, with the wonderful review was misplaced. To make up for it, I've decided to repost it here in the review section where it belongs and so that all can enjoy.



I bought the book for my hunting bud Butch. He hates Christmas, he hates the season, he hates giving gifts and he hates receiving gifts. However, comma, he likes the book and especially that the stories are short. He only reads when he's sitting on the "john" and figures that he can get through three stories at a sitting. That is some major "reading" for him and definite high praise. Bottom line (no pun intended) is that he is a happy camper and recommends the book to others.

He wanted to let me read the book after he finished, but... well... I think I'll just get my own.



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