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Chad Love: Joe the Plumber
I've been writing (poorly, some would argue) for pay (way too little, I would argue) since about 1996, during which I have shamelessly pursued every little bit of swag, bling and/or complimentary product and service I could attach my greedy velcro fingers to.
To date I have managed to score exactly two expenses-paid trips to cover bass tournaments (both taken well over 10 years ago) and - way back when they first came out - a sample pack of Terminator spinnerbaits.
And if you want to know how successful I've become as a bling-collecting outdoors writer since then, consider this: Earlier this year I wrapped one of those by-now tattered Terminators around a submerged log. Rather than simply snapping the line and tying on a new one from my well-stocked bag full of complimentary tackle, I went wading because A. my tackle box is neither well-stocked nor complimentary, and B. A five-dollar spinnerbait is still a five-dollar spinnerbait even if it's older than my first child.
The point is, writing - of any kind - is a hard, lonely gig. You pay your dues by toiling in obscurity and poverty for years, patiently perfecting your craft and hoping that somewhere, someone will recognize your hard work and give you a shot. Because when you're a nobody in this business nothing is given: you earn it.
At least that's what I used to believe. Now I realize, of course, that I was a naive dumbass.
Joe the Plumber to become war correspondent
TOLEDO, Ohio (AP) — Joe The Plumber is putting down his wrenches and picking up a reporter's notebook. The Ohio man who became a household name during the presidential campaign says he is heading to Israel as a war correspondent for the conservative Web site pjtv.com. Samuel J. Wurzelbacher (WUR'-zuhl-bah-kur) says he'll spend 10 days covering the fighting. He tells WNWO-TV in Toledo that he wants to let Israel's "'Average Joes' share their story." Wurzelbacher gained attention during the final weeks of the campaign when he asked Barack Obama about his tax plan. He later joined Republican John McCain on the campaign trail. At one stop, he agreed with a McCain supporter who asked if he believed a vote for Obama was a vote for the death of Israel.
That's right, Joe the Plumber is now Joe the Journalist, and he's getting a break that literally thousands of real journalists would gladly give half a reproductive organ for. Now I'm not bagging on Joe: he may be the next Ernie Pyle for all I know, but maybe he should get his feet wet by covering a city commission meeting or two before he heads into a war zone. It's ridiculous, it's a blatant publicity stunt and it's patently unfair to ink-stained wretches everywhere, but gimmickry is what modern America thrives on and Joe will probably end up parlaying this fraud into a regular column for Time or Newsweek and his own cable talk show.
I'm just worried that Joe also likes to hunt and fish. He's the shizzle right now now and provided he makes it back from Israel alive the editors of a certain outdoors magazine may want to capitalize on that fame by sending him on one of those plum destination assignments I've been fruitlessly begging and pleading for. Joe the Plumber flyfishes Patagonia. Joe the Plumber bags a record kudu on safari. Joe the Plumber shoots grouse over the Queen's dogs in England. Joe the Plumber gets three thousand words in the feature well every month to write whatever he wants while Chad the Blogger makes news by drowning while attempting to recover his last freebie spinnerbait...
Joe the plumber - just another example showing you don't have to have any real talent to become a celebrity in America. I'm not saying it's good or bad, but to those who actually work for it, Chad, I feel your pain.
Posted by: Tony | January 09, 2009 at 01:32 PM
Joe the plumber IS getting instant fame...kind of like the old lady who yelled "Where's the beef?!" in the infamous 80s Wendy's commercial...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ug75diEyiA0
However, Chad the blogger had me chuckling out loud today. Good post! I enjoy your humorous entries.
Posted by: Jo the blog reader | January 09, 2009 at 01:55 PM
Blog on Chad. Mark Twain was 32 before he gained notoriety and fame. Perhaps your Gentry City is about to steam into your port.
Posted by: Jim in Mo | January 09, 2009 at 02:16 PM
Okay, so he's inexperienced, let's send that glorious ink-stained wretch Helen Thomas over there.
Or any of the rest of the lock-stepped lefties.
johnl
Posted by: johnl | January 09, 2009 at 02:28 PM
Chad,
Sometimes things are different when you look @ them from just the outside.
Maybe Joe the plumber has toiled in obscurity for years and he finally feels he's getting his shot.
Jim
Posted by: jstreet | January 09, 2009 at 02:29 PM
Love
Thank you for your self deprecation. You might try a different style than your recent blog post on Petzal's Gun Nut, humorous or not.
There may be a good reason you are not getting too many paying gigs. Probably for the same reason that I get none.
I wholeheartedly agree that you are a naive dumba$$. I think it has little to do with being an Okie.
CJ
Posted by: CJ | January 09, 2009 at 05:04 PM
The problem is that you take your calling as a journalist -- of some kind or another -- seriously. It should be apparent already from talk radio and political trash talkers that Crap Is King.
If you want to make regular money, get yourself a morning radio show and make sure that you talk about farts, booze, bosoms, or the antics of pro-athetes, every break from 6-10 AM. Make sure you have a couple sidekicks who will snort appreciatively at your humour and you'll be living the dream. ;)
Posted by: Mike Diehl | January 09, 2009 at 05:48 PM
Chad,
Speaking of terminator spinnerbaits...a few years back a local tv weatherman came out with his "own" brand of titanium spinnerbaiats. They sold like hotcakes at the local stores, I still have a couple. However it seems they were taken off the market when the owner of the patents raised a stink. Maybe you should do TV?
Posted by: buckstopper | January 09, 2009 at 05:59 PM
Chad,
Speaking of terminator spinnerbaits...a few years back a local tv weatherman came out with his "own" brand of titanium spinnerbaiats. They sold like hotcakes at the local stores, I still have a couple. However it seems they were taken off the market when the owner of the patents raised a stink. Maybe you should do TV?
Posted by: buckstopper | January 09, 2009 at 05:59 PM
Chad,
Speaking of terminator spinnerbaits...a few years back a local tv weatherman came out with his "own" brand of titanium spinnerbaiats. They sold like hotcakes at the local stores, I still have a couple. However it seems they were taken off the market when the owner of the patents raised a stink. Maybe you should do TV?
Posted by: buckstopper | January 09, 2009 at 05:59 PM
CJ, there are a lot of people who would wholeheartedly agree with your wholehearted agreement of my dumbassedness, but I think you, uh, misunderstooded me: You see, paying gigs aren't my problem, paying gigs that shower me with free stuff are my problem.
As for my comment on the Gun Nut blog, who said anything about humor? That's how I really am...
Mike, you just summed up the whole of my writing career more succinctly than I ever could. A journalist... of some kind or another.
Posted by: Chad Love | January 09, 2009 at 06:05 PM
CJ, there are a lot of people who would wholeheartedly agree with your wholehearted agreement of my dumbassedness, but I think you, uh, misunderstooded me: You see, paying gigs aren't my problem, paying gigs that shower me with free stuff are my problem.
As for my comment on the Gun Nut blog, who said anything about humor? That's how I really am...
Mike, you just summed up the whole of my writing career more succinctly than I ever could. A journalist... of some kind or another.
Posted by: Chad Love | January 09, 2009 at 06:07 PM
See, I even screw up trying to post a comment...
Posted by: Chad Love | January 09, 2009 at 06:17 PM
Chad you said "it's not fair." This leads me to believe you are still a naive dumbass, with all due respect ofcourse. Next time you feel your lips begin to form the words "that's not fair" or, "that is fiar," stop yourself and say "that's life." Best regards.
Jeff
Posted by: jeff | January 10, 2009 at 01:18 AM
Talent has nothing to do with your success or lack of. Success in particular occupations (esp. the celeb type) is based to a degree upon what the naive zombies populating our country clamor for. So take heart, become notorious and your chance will come.
Posted by: JohnR | January 10, 2009 at 10:11 AM
Chad, this isn't directed at you personally.
On another note, after the nationwide rectal exam that Joe the plumber was subjected to by the "media and journalists" I say "You Go Joe". He didn't ask for the attention, it was thrust upon him by the "professionals" for daring to ask a question when approached by the messiah. This resulted in nasty stories, rumors and outright lies just to discredit him, and the loss of his job. If someone else offered him this job, go for it!
I'll be interested to read some thoughts from a non-insider,(maybe kinda somebody like me/us?) who wasn't indoctrinated by journalism professors or sitting in newsrooms, but bases his opinion on what he observes and makes up his own mind.
johnl
Posted by: johnl | January 10, 2009 at 11:55 AM
Chad, you may be a dumb ass,but you just made my day a wee bit better
( I THINK WE all have been a dumb ass a time or to).
Don
Posted by: Don Mitchell | January 10, 2009 at 12:05 PM
Here here JohnL. Isn't this what we should have been praying for. Something else besides the scum employed by Turner and Murdock?
Posted by: jeff | January 10, 2009 at 04:27 PM
You know, this got me thinking how much I hate John Cafferty and Wolf Blitzer. You go Joe! May Chuck Lidell punch John Cafferty and Wolf Blitzer in the throat. Amen.
Posted by: jeff | January 10, 2009 at 04:29 PM
Only in America, and only in these pathetic times we live in.
Posted by: Scrap5000 | January 10, 2009 at 04:55 PM
Screw it Chad, give me an address and I'll send you a freebee, just because I enjoy your writing.
You may just be an Ernie Pyle in the making yourself, and if you take up cartooning perhap I'll be able to put your work on the shelf next to my Bill Maulden collection.
Just keep up the good work.
Paul
Posted by: Paul Wilke | January 10, 2009 at 10:01 PM
How can you say he didn't ask for the attention that the campaign brought him? Did they take him hostage? You say "You go Joe", i say "Just go away Joe"! Please!
Posted by: | January 11, 2009 at 09:42 AM
Whoever that last poster was, okay, maybe, he wants Joe the plumber to go away.
I'll remind you he wasn't a McCain campaign operative, he came into view because the "Messiah" walked up to him and he dared to ask a question. The media made him a celebrity.
I'd sure as hell rather hear what he has to say, as an ordinary citizen, than Chris "thrill up my leg" Matthews, Katie "the perkie one" Couric, Keith Olbermann, or Jerry Rivers (aka Geraldo Rivera)or any others of the lock-step media.
I'll listen to my neighbor, co-workers, or other non-media people on this and other blogs, before any of the talking heads. They/we are out in the real world, not regurgitating news for ratings.
And Chad, quit begging. (I know you were kidding).
Posted by: johnl | January 11, 2009 at 01:12 PM
Chad, ya just gotta get into a trade pub niche that guys like Joe the Plumber can't fill.
It ain't the most exciting journalism, but there's a lot less competition than sportswriting or features or general politics. And a lot more rewarding in most cases.
The missus and me have managed to scratch out a living this way. If Joe makes a million, he makes a million. The market is full of caprice and we learn to live with it.
Back in the late 80s, I was a sportswriter for a small paper in upstate NY. I was covering a basketball game at the Meadowlands, and ran into a guy I used to know when he was a goofball college kid. He was stringing for the NY Post. He wanted me to drive him back to lower Manhattan. Me, I wanted to get back to upstate and told him best I could do was drop him off on the Upper West Side. He didn't like that. Now he's a big powerful guy in the media, and if I had driven him downtown, I might have had a chip to call in at some point. But he's still a goofball. And the older I get, the less I am willing to deal with goofballs. Such is life.
Posted by: Gman | January 11, 2009 at 02:44 PM