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Chad Love: Scent of Love
As a mostly incompetent hunter, I've never had qualms about applying any manner of vile, foul-smelling liquid on my person or clothing in the vain hopes said liquid would increase my odds of shooting a deer.
If someone claimed that secretions collected from the pre-hormonal glands of the Mongolian Cud-Spitting Yak simply drove rutting bucks crazy, I'd have one hand over my mouth trying to hold down breakfast while the other spritzed warm yak musk all over my body.
But as strange as the hunter's penchant for bad-smelling stuff is, at least it has a purpose, and even the most die-hard hunter doesn't use said scents recreationally simply because some smells are best avoided in mixed company. You know, things like estrous doe, fox pee, the scent of a greasy fast-food hamburger turning to carbon under a thermonuclear heat lamp
Huh? From the story:
Burger King is hoping to be known as more than “The Home of the Whopper.” This weekend, the fast food chain rolled out “Flame,” a new men’s body spray billed as “the scent of seduction with a hint of flame-broiled meat.”
That's right: a hamburger-scented cologne for men. Because nothing screams manly, virile seduction like the tantalizing scent of a flame-broiled Whopper. At least that's the underlying message of Burger King's extremely funny online ad for "Flame" which can be found here. Keep clicking the spray bottle for further campy poses by the creepy Burger King dude.
Now I'm all for anything that celebrates blatant carnivorism, and I'd love to see PETA's apoplectic reaction, but come on: I've been inside a Burger King and while the amalgam of scent that assaults your nose may not be quite as revolting as the aforementioned love sweat of the Mongolian Cud-Spitting Yak, it certainly doesn't conjure up images of sweet lovin' on a plush rug in front of a roaring fire. To me it has a more robust "where can we eat for three bucks and get the hell back on the road?" boutique to it.
So the question is: would you rather smell like a hamburger prepared by a sullen minimum-wage teenager with a penchant for luggies or the liquid waste products of various and sundry wild animals? I'm up in the air on this one...
that website is hilarious.
yrs-
Evan!
Posted by: Evan! | December 18, 2008 at 11:57 AM
I'll stick with Hoppe's No. 9. As for my women, I prefer them au naturel - considering that most perfumes swell my eyes shut and make me stop breathing. And, yes, the Burger King dude is very creepy indeed - not sure why they keep using him.
Posted by: Mike | December 18, 2008 at 12:22 PM
I stopped wasting my money on deer scent years ago. I don't think they work as either a cover scent or as an attractant. I use to do the drag rag routine, mock scrap, etc. and besides a inquisitive deer taking a sniff and continuing by never had much luck.
I end up shooting at least one nice buck per year by doing proper scouting, passing on many midsize bucks and putting in long days in the stand. During the rut or gun seasons I try to hunt all day or take a minimum break from the stand for lunch. I have killed as many big bucks at 8am as 11am when many guys have already went back for breakfast/lunch.
Posted by: Jay | December 18, 2008 at 12:53 PM
Forget the overpriced, over-rated scent lock clothes, etc. The Burger King may have discovered the perfect cover scent. Don't knock it until you try it.
Posted by: Proverbs | December 18, 2008 at 02:28 PM
That depends. Will the yak secretions give me violent bowel movements like my other option? Great post Chad.
Posted by: jeff | December 18, 2008 at 02:33 PM
That was very funny, but I prefer pure vanilly extract like Granny Clampett.
Posted by: JohnR | December 18, 2008 at 02:49 PM
If you're out with the boys and considering a game of hogger, then 'Flame' may be just the ticket!
Posted by: Blue Ox | December 18, 2008 at 03:12 PM
Burger King's always smelled of onion rings to me. O yeah, there's the broiled meat [generic mystery meat], but I smell onion rings when I enter a Burger King.
Posted by: Mark-1 | December 18, 2008 at 05:54 PM
Jay, I am sold on estrous scent, when used at the right time. I have watched bucks follow my drag with their nose to the ground to within a few feet of me.
Just this fall a lust-raged buck followed the drag right to my ladder stand. I went straight to the stand after a full day in the office and a 3-hour drive and didn't have on any camo or scentloc. All I had done was spray down with scent killer. I hung an estrous soaked scent rag close enough to make my eyes water. The buck was so engrossed that he only spooked a few yards when my headlight fell off and nearly caught an antler (there is a longer story). But, maybe it was the scent from the burger I ate in the car a couple hours before. And no, I usually don't hunt for whitetails like this - I was actually just trying my luck before an upland weekend. By the way, venison loins complement grouse and woodcock just fine. ... once you get the Code Blue out of your nostrils.
Now you've done it ... now I have a taste for a Whopper and cheesy tots.
Posted by: Mike | December 18, 2008 at 06:28 PM
Burger King's always smelled of onion rings to me. O yeah, there's the broiled meat [generic mystery meat], but I smell onion rings when I enter a Burger King.
Posted by: Mark-1 | December 18, 2008 at 07:27 PM
Oops. sorry for post. My keyboard is going nuts.
Posted by: Mark-1 | December 18, 2008 at 07:28 PM
"Flame" might work good if you like BIG women...
Posted by: matt | December 18, 2008 at 08:52 PM
I agree with Matt, but with a twist. I could see women using "Flame" to lure guys the way we use doe pee to lure a buck. Let's face it guys, dangle the right scent in front of us at a weak moment and our judgement goes out the window.
Posted by: ricefarm | December 19, 2008 at 10:00 AM