David E. Petzal - The Gun Nut

“And I heard the voice of the fourth beast say, ‘Come and see,’ and I looked and beheld a pale horse, and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him.”—from The Book of Revelation

“It is already dark in Moscow, and soon it will be dark here. I wonder: shall we see the light again in our lifetimes?”—Freidrich Wilhelm Kritzinger, in the movie Conspiracy

*It could have been worse. We could have gotten Hillary, and with her the same politics as Obama plus that voice braying at us for four years. On the other hand, I will miss the excellent antics of Bubba turned loose in the White House with no one in charge of him.

*Obama says he respects the Second Amendment.  And I am Ferdinand, King of Romania.

*We are probably not going to see any gun legislation for a while. Obama and Biden will have their hands full with the coming depression and our two wars, plus energy, plus who knows what else. Also, it will take Congress a while to figure out who is who in the pecking order, who gets to steal what and how much, etc.

*Eventually, however, they will get brave and propose something really hellish in the way of gun legislation. This may not come until Obama’s second term, assuming he gets one, but it will be a doozer.

*When it does come, if there is a fight over it, we can take some small comfort from the fact that Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi are two of the most ineffectual people ever to suck on the public tit.

*A gun dealer friend called and said that this past Saturday was the biggest day he has had in over 30 years in business. Much of what he sells is black rifles in one form or another, plus Class III goodies. “All the liberals who voted for Obama are scared to death they won’t be able to get guns once he takes office,” he says.

*In the weeks to come, we are likely to see an unprecedented run on any semi-automatic or quasi-military gun, plus magazines, ammo, and anything else that Joe Biden may not want us to have. As I’ve said before, hoard now and beat the rush.

*At the suggestion of one of our more intelligent contributors, I am appointing Ms. Elisha Cuthbert the Official Gun Nut Babe.

*Smile. What else can you do?

I pass this bit of news along for what it's worth, being unable to vouch for the accuracy of the source (or lack thereof). You are free to draw your own conclusions.

Fellow Americans, bloggers, and bitter gun clutchers: In the past tumultuous weeks, I have been asked:

"How does an educated man like yourself, a person of taste, culture, and intellect, a registered Independent since 1964, support the Republican ticket over the Democrat? How can you be a one-issue voter?"

Or, more directly: "Have you lost your f*****g mind?"

My friends, I am paid to write about guns, hunting, and politics as it applies to guns and hunting. My mandate does not extend further. Because of this, I'm a captive of circumstance. The Democrats nominated an atrocious pair of anti-gunners, and the Republicans nominated one neutral and possibly the strongest pro-gun candidate ever. All I can do is report on what they say; however, this does not mean I've ignored their other qualifications, or lack thereof. So, lest I be thought shallow and superficial, here is how I rank the four candidates, quite apart from firearms.

Overall, the situation was summed up by Carl Hiaasen, who said of another election that you could throw a net over a park bench and do better. In a time when we stand in greater peril than ever before, the men and women who really could do the job are not stepping forward. What persons with an ounce of self-respect would subject themselves to being a presidential or vice-presidential candidate in the year 2008?

But, my fellow Americans, lest I be thought superficial, here is a brief summation of each candidate as I see him or her:

John McCain: A mid-20th-century man trying to get a handle on the 21st century and failing. Sort of like me. However, I know how to send an e-mail. He is about as interested in gun legislation as he is in acquiring a third wife with no money.

Sarah Palin: I would go moose hunting with her any day, but as for the rest of it…

Barack Obama: Our best orator in years, provided he has a teleprompter. He ran a fine campaign against Hillary, who ran a terrible campaign. His major qualification seems to be the 143 days he has spent in the Senate.

Joe Biden: I had thought of him as merely one more spavined Senate hack. However, he is proving himself to be a major buffoon. I expect that any day now, he will claim he owns the laptop on which Lincoln composed the Gettysburg Address. Biden has it in him, if elected, to take his place alongside Dan Quayle and Spiro Agnew in the pantheon of Truly Embarrassing Vice Presidents.

And so, my friends, let me close by borrowing a page from blogger Clay Cooper, and present you with three quotes that sum things up with an eloquence far greater than my own:

"The party's over."—Willie Nelson

"Indeed, I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just."—Thomas Jefferson

"And in that time shall men seek death, and shall not find it, and shall desire to die, and death shall flee from them."—The Book of Revelations

"Things fall apart. The center cannot hold."--W.B. Yeats

Thank you, and good night. And will the last person out please turn off the lights?

Former President Bubba did his turn in a duck blind, John Kerry embarrassed himself on a trap field, and Hillary turned into Little Miss Sure Shot, so I guess it was inevitable that Joe Biden would join this farcical parade. This past Saturday, in a speech at Castlewood, Va., according to a report by NBC’s Mike Memoli:

“The Delaware senator predicted that Republicans would seek to sway voters by threatening that Obama would take away guns. Biden, claiming to be a gun owner himself who likes ‘that little over and under,’ called that notion bogus.

“’Barack Obama ain’t* taking my shotguns, so don’t buy that malarkey,’ he said. ‘If he tries to fool with my Beretta, he’s got a problem.’”

Joe Biden has an F rating from the NRA/ILA, and is on the short list of the Senate’s most rabid anti-gunners, so this came as something of a surprise, and raises a number of points:

The Republicans have so far not brought up the Obama/gun issue in a meaningful way. What are they waiting for?

I doubt if President Obama would try to take his Vice President’s shotguns. It doesn’t work that way. Bush did not take away Cheney’s Perazzi after the unpleasantness in Wyoming.

If President Obama does try to fool with Vice President Biden’s Beretta, what is the nature of his “problem?” Is this a “cold, dead hands” sort of thing?

President Obama might not fool with your Beretta, provided that it’s an over/under like Biden’s. If It happens to be a semiauto, however, don’t get too attached to it.

*Biden, like Hillary and Obama, seems compelled to dumb down his speech when he’s before a rural audience. I doubt if he says “ain’t” when he’s on the Senate floor. Hillary (Wellesley, Yale Law) sounds Like Granny Moses on The Beverly Hillbillies when she tries this stunt.

**TWO CORRECTIONS**

Mr. Tommy MC of Wyoming, a person of the very highest literary and moral worth and possessor of a fund of worthless information as vast as my own or greater, points out that polar bears are not pale yellow. In fact, their fur is translucent, and takes on the color of whatever background the bear is posing against.

It has also been pointed out that the Wretched Cheney Episode took place in Texas, not Wyoming. I regret the errors and apologize to all bloggers and to their progeny six generations removed.

Editor's Note: As the apocalypse looms and we all draw nearer to the edge of The Pit, here's a little bit of good news, and our thanks to blog regular "Jack" for sending it. --DP

David -
BIG NEWS in Ohio this morning.

Ohio Supreme Court strikes down gun ban in city parks. This is a great victory.

This case originated about 40 miles from my home.  The village of Clyde Ohio had passed an ordinance banning dangerous weapons in city parks after Ohio's state legislature adopted our concealed carry law.  The concealed carry law in Ohio included an explicit list of where weapons could be banned in Ohio.  Public parks were not on that list, but cities like Clyde, Toledo and others went ahead and banned them.

The Supreme Court of Ohio said Ohioans For Concealed Carry are correct in their assertions - government may not ban guns in parks.

Regards,
Jack

A little while ago, I stated that Senator Joe Biden (D-Del) was one of the very worst anti-gun Senators. Now, my fellow Americans, in the waning hours before the Second Great Depression, I think it is time for specifics.

If you go to Senator Biden’s website, you will not find anything about gun control. (At least I could not find anything.) What you will find is a photo of Sen. Biden with Former President Bubba and his then-attorney general, Janet Reno, the nice lady who brought us the Waco massacre.

So what follows is taken from the NRA/ILA website, which has been keeping track of Pal Joey (and if you would like to read more, you can do so by Googling NRA/ILA Joe Biden).  Biden is not merely one of the many-termed hacks who have done their share to make the Senate a joke; he is a true mover and shaker when it comes to chipping away at the Second Amendment. Sen Biden:

*Supports a renewal on the 1994 Clinton gun ban. Sen. Biden’s current bill (S. 2237) includes 200 (more or less) makes and models of semi-auto rifles, shotguns, and handguns.
*Is credited by the Brady campaign as being “…a consistent supporter.”
*Has voted to ban semi-automatic firearms, ban various types of hunting, sporting, and self-defense ammunition, ban magazines holding more than 10 rounds, and impose a waiting period on handgun sales.
*Refused—along with Sen. Obama—to sign the legal brief opposing the D.C. gun ban before Heller went before the Supreme Court. More than 300 members of Congress did sign.
*Proposed in a Senate bill (S. 1970) in 1989 to ban the AR-15 as an “assault weapon,” named eight similar firearms as “assault weapons,” and authorized the BATF to recommend to Congress any other firearms, regardless of type, to be banned as “additional assault weapons.”

A busy fellow, no? You are free to think of him merely as the guy who steps on his crank once a week and gives Rush Limbaugh something to talk about, but if he gets to be Vice President, none of us will find him a bit funny. 

Governor Palin is almost too good to be true. She is a lifelong hunter, a Life Member of the NRA, a dedicated jock, mother of a soldier who will be deployed to Iraq next month, a person who actually knows something about oil exploration, and perhaps most important, an Alaska Republican who is serious about honesty in public office. The odds on finding one of these are about the same as finding an honest Democratic politician from New Jersey. Her only drawback seems to be her background in journalism, but then no one is perfect.

I know very few people, including Repubicans, who are enthusiastic about John McCain. He seems to be tolerated only as an alternative to Obama*, who is intolerable to gun owners. There I was, prepared to hold back my rising gorge and vote for Old John M. and whatever lame hack he selected as Veep, and here he comes up with someone that I can actually be enthusiastic about from any number of standpoints, never mind guns and hunting. I wish Senator McCain and Governor Palin all success.

*About last night’s speech: I didn’t watch it. I have been leery of speeches since I watched John F. Kennedy’s inaugural in January 1961, when he promised that we would pay any cost, bear any burden, and oppose any foe in the defense of freedom. What we got was Vietnam.  The only truly prophetic part of the Inaugural was when the lectern caught on fire; there was a sign if ever there was one. Speeches are theatre, nothing more. Perhaps the only honest one in history was Lincoln’s Second Inaugural, in which he said, essentially, “You wanted a war and you got it. How do you like it?”

In the September issue of American Rifleman, on page 40,  you’ll find a highly edifying bind-in card set entitled “Barack Obama’s Ten-Point Plan to ‘Change’ the Second Amendment.” Based on how he has voted in the past, both in the Illinois Legislature and in the Senate, and what he has said in public about gun control, it reads like this:

1) Ban use of firearms for home defense.
2) Pass Federal laws eliminating right to carry.
3) Ban the manufacture, sale, and possession of handguns.
4) Close down 90 percent of the gun shops in America.
5) Ban rifle ammunition commonly used for hunting and sport shooting.
6) Increase federal taxes on guns and ammunition by 500 percent.
7) Restore voting rights for 5 million criminals including those who have been convicted of using a gun to commit a violent crime.
8) Expand the Clinton semi-auto ban to include millions more firearms.
9) Mandate a government-issued license to purchase a firearm.
10) Appoint judges to the U.S. Supreme Court and Federal judiciary who share his views on the Second Amendment.

If you’d like to check the documentation for all this, go to www.nraila.org/Obama.

As if this weren’t enough, Obama has selected Sen. Joe Biden of Delaware as his running mate. Biden does not get all the credit he deserves as an anti-gunner, but he ranks right up there with Senators Schumer, Clinton, Boxer, and Feinstein as one of the very worst. Both Obama and Biden are rated “F” by the NRA/ILA.

You may not care for John McCain’s memory lapses, or his wife’s seven homes, or the fact that he can’t work a computer (these are actually pluses as far as I’m concerned), but as far as gun control goes, I think this election is about as clear cut as it gets.

One of the fringe benefits to last week's Supreme Court decision was Friday’s editorial in The New York Times, a newspaper that unfailingly  hits new heights of hysteria at anything remotely favorable to gun owners. The Times’ view of America, at least as far as firearms are concerned, is apocalyptic. Heller will unleash armed mobs; the end is near.

It reminds me of Alexander Hamilton’s quote: “The people, sir, is a beast.”

From Friday’s Times editorial page we get:
“This is a decision that will cost innocent lives, cause immeasurable pain and suffering and turn America into a more dangerous country. It will also diminish our standing in the world, sending yet another message that the United States values gun rights over human life.”

Not bad. On the Gun Nut Hysteriameter I give it an 8.5 out of a possible 10. Now we jump to page E1, the Weekend Arts section, where we come to the review of a new movie titled “Wanted,” and this amazing description:

“A man has soared onto the roof of a high rise where he has laid a handful of others to waste. Suddenly the camera cuts to his face as a bullet exits his head in slow motion, his skin stretching forward as the projectile tears through it going straight for the camera and our already numbed skulls. Well, that’s one way to get the attention of fickle movie goers…”

Is that what it is? I might have thought it was senseless glorification of violence to make a buck, glamorizing killing and inviting some of the halfwit jerks who watch this stuff to try it themselves. I might have thought it was the kind of thing that the Times Editorial page might condemn, except that on page 11 of the same section is a ¾-page, four-color ad for “Wanted,” for which said paper was paid a whole bunch of money. And as we are all aware, this is a very tough year for newspapers.

So I guess I will not hold my breath waiting for that particular editorial.

“It was a damned near-run thing.”—Arthur, Lord Wellesley, Duke of Wellington, on the Battle of Waterloo, at which the English came very close to getting their asses whipped by Napoleon.

Well, this was a damned near-run thing. We averted disaster by one vote. If the Supremes had found against Mr. Heller and held that the Second Amendment refers only to militias, the future would be grim beyond imagining. We will, in all likelihood, have an overwhelmingly Democratic Congress and a President named Obama. In the face of a defeat for our side, the new congress would draw up a really hellish anti-gun bill, and Obama would sign it immediately. Democrats can’t help it; it’s genetic.

Justice Scalia (who, as I recall, went duck hunting with Dick Cheney and survived) wrote the majority opinion, holding that the right to self-defense is an intrinsic part of Article II and, in the process declared unconstitutional Washington’s idiotic rule that all guns in the home must be disassembled or have trigger locks on them.

We got a very, very big break today, but Sarah Brady will not go away, and Hillary Clinton will forget that she is supposed to be Annie Oakley, and Chuck Schumer and Michael Bloomberg will still be doing business at the same stand. If you would like to do something to celebrate, send some money to the NRA’s Institute for Legislative Action. Armed with the Heller decision, the ILA will be fighting to roll back some of our more idiotic gun laws. And they have a long, long list to choose from.