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December 31, 2008

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Petzal: Predictions for the New Year

Coach says it’s OK to bleed from the ears.”—Reggie Ray, in Not Another Teen Movie

For fear the hearts of men are failing,
For these are latter days we know.
The Great Depression now is spreading;
God’s word declared it would be so.
I’m going where there’s no Depression,
To that lovely land that’s free from care.
I’ll leave this world of toil and trouble.
My home’s in Heaven; I’m going there.

—A.P. Carter, from Songs of the Depression, by The New Lost City Ramblers, 1959

Some of the following is already fact. The rest of it will probably be fact before 2009 is out.

On December 18, one day after Washington announced its new “reasonable” gun-ownership laws, MSNBC news bunny Mika Brzezinski was mugged outside her D.C. hotel by a robber who did not carry a gun. Meanwhile, the murderer of Chondra Levy, the intern who was killed in a Washington park in 2001, remains at large.

President Obama will push a new firearms-control law through a Congress that is distracted by a debate over whether to bail out kitty litter manufacturers (unsympathetic reporters label the pro-litter faction “The Pissing Pussy Posse”). It establishes the National Bureau of Gun-Owner Control, and requires anyone possessing a firearm in the U.S. to carry an I.D. card issued by the Bureau. One of the requirements for obtaining a card involves passing a psychiatric exam and, to set the example, Vice President Joe Biden takes the first one. He fails it.

Stung by the shooting public’s rejection of the 592nd variation on its basic mid-20th-century rifle design, a major gun manufacturer will develop a breakthrough “game-harvesting system” that is actually a hand-held miniaturized heat-seeking missile with an effective range of 12.7 miles. Called the GHS and mounted with a celestial telescope, it requires no aiming—only pointing in a general direction--and cannot miss.

The GHS is given a radical advertising campaign (“Fair chase is so 20th century.”) and is a raging success; a black-powder version for special seasons soon follows. BATF chief Chelsea Clinton attempts to classify it as a destructive device, but Congress, distracted by the $13.5 billion in severance paid to top execs at GM, Ford, and Chrysler after their companies’ respective bankruptcies, does not go along.

And: This past hunting season I drove to hunts in South Carolina, Maine, and West Virginia, thereby depriving the airlines of the money they would pay ramp apes to dance on my gun case. I also avoided the TSA, getting stranded, the Ritalin-deprived 12-year-old sociopath who always sits in the seat behind me, and the awful despair in the eyes of all flight attendants.

My thanks to all of you who read this thing and contribute to it. I get a tremendous kick out of what you have to say, even if you disagree with me, which is surprising because I am always right.

Happy New Year.


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Cliff B

Merry New Year Dave and to all that are addicted to this blog.
Dave, you are right in everything you write except when you're not. How else can I put it?
Try to stay alive this year and keep sharing your insights and ramblings with us.

 lee Coleman

Jim Have a good year! Keep up the great wriing efforts. I so look forward to them in my inbox every day. Thank you!


I always look for a post from the "Gun Nut". You wrote an article about pocket knives and listed the Schrade Old Timer pocket knife. I have had a large stockman for years. I haven't lost mine yet!



If it wasn't for Dave what would have to look forward too for 2009. A president who doesn't have a clue, a congress that only cares abot its own survival and constantly takes care of its rich buddies so they can give large donations to buy election, a media that worships terrorists as freedom fighters and that sees American citizen gun owners as blood thirsty killers, an electorate that thinks everything should be freely provided by those who work for those who don't want to work. Thanks Dave for a little sunshine.

Richard Grimes, Troy NC


Sniffing gun powder for so many years does have an ill effect! I am looking forward to your next rant.

Happy New Year!

Richard G.

Dr. Ralph

Semp, I wish I'd been at your house last night... must've been one hell of a throw down. Wife snuck outside with some serious fireworks at midnight while my kids were in the garage with about ten friends having a little throw down of their own. Playing ping-pong, foosball, darts and suddenly BOOOOMMMM!!! Straightened their sorry a$$es up fast. Course daddy had to pop off fifteen from the .40 or it wouldn't be New Years.

Predictions: Obama will take the second psychiatric evaluation and it will be revealed that he truly is the OBAMESSIAH. Not just the second coming of Jesus Christ himself but also the one and only Allah come to preside over the New World Order. All Bibles and weapons will immediately be confiscated and the GHS will be standard issue to all police departments and military now referred to as the Obamilitia.

Bill Ballowe

Keep up the good work Dave. I can only hope for more guys like you sticking up for the gun owners in America.



Maybe you could drive out to Southwest Washington State and let us see how a Master takes black tail!!! I'll pay for your gas and beat the crap out of anybody that even looks sideways at your gun case!

I'm going out this Saturday with a Buddy for a "heavily armed walk in the snow" -- if it turns into something more I'll let you all know!


Ah - yes we are always right in our own mind. Z



We have the same problem here in FL. All the New York City Carpetbaggers that live in Miami, Tampa and Orlando set state policy with thier money and clout. I love NYC and there are great people there, but they are misguided on guns, hunting and crime. Look at the recovery of Rhinos in Africa. Anti-Hunting groups tried to block Game Reserves, yet those reserves led to the comeback of the species. Misguided...........


Can the GHS be set to seek out "incompetent and arrogent elitist politicians"? If so I'll take one and a few hundred rounds! Then I'll take me a drive to DC.



"Ahhh, the Nation survived the likes of William Howard Taft, Herbert Hoover, Jimmy Carter and Billary Clinton ... this too shall pass ... not as fast as we'd like ... but pass it will."

Just like a big steaming pile of dog excrement, and I feel about the same about both.

Del in KS


Thanks for all the good writing. Hope next year is better than the last. Which by the way turned out all right in the end for me.
Today Billy and I took Buck and my new German Shorthaired Pointer Jill out today and she worked like a pro. Pointed and retrieved 14 quail. Jill is only 10 months old. Dan Snowbarger has her brother Jack. I would post a pic but can't remember how. She is a beauty of a pup.

Del in KS

Jim and Sarg,

We took some pics today so they will be in your Email shortly.

Bernie Kuntz

Dave, Happy New Year to you. I have enjoyed your blog for several years now, and only seriously disagreed with you one time. That was when you said something to the effect that the Model 870 Remington was superior to the Winchester Model 12 because the former was still in production, and the latter was not! I still disagree!

Your predictions are frightening but not out of the realm of sound reasoning. Let's hope they do not come to pass.

Clay Cooper

“Hitler's rise to power was legal in terms of majority rule and neither he nor Stalin could have maintained the leadership of large populations... if they had not had the confidence of the masses.”
-Hannah Arendt, The Origins of Totalitarianism

“A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.”
-George Bernard Shaw, writer, philosopher, and Fabian socialist

Clay Cooper

“The real destroyer of the liberties of the people is he who spreads among them bounties, donations and benefits.”

“I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them.”
-Thomas Jefferson

“Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery.”
-Sir Winston Churchill

“Prosperity For All”
-Gore stump speech stage backdrop banner, first week of 2000-Nov

“The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not.”
-Thomas Jefferson


that is one heck of a wild dream you had there dave! i think you drank to much vermouth last night! better stick to c.c. on the rocks. if any of that stuff actually happens, you know you will be labled "the nostradamus of the gun industry". and you dont want that, do you?! as for the "GHS", i have been waiting for laser guns. i still preferr the chase, but an updated weapon might be nice. besides, it would really be cool to burn a hole right through a tree if that buck just wouldnt move!




Same to ya pal. Your wit and humor are greatly appreciated in this era of lost common sense/logic. You and Phil have great columns, please keep up the good work.

Rocky Mtn Hunter

Dave has been a interesting year on this Blog; Won a few, lost many. But that;s what keeps this interesting. I;ve learned a lot, and hopefully taught a few some new tricks. Hunting was good here in N>C for my Son and I. Not so great in MT.Finally got a scrub Mulie, only the 2nd Mulie Bucks i saw in l6 days. Game in that area is way down and unless they killsome Cougars, Wolves, foxes it's going to get worse. My wife saw a Cougr 10 yards away. I doubt the Congress and Prs will harp on guns a lot, too many major problems they need to attend to. So be it if you have to have ID to purchase a gun, you have to to get driverslicenses. As for Airlines, this past year flying to teh Rockies did me in. I hope I never have to fly again. Expensive gun cases with high $ guns inside treated like a log and your regular luggage is all best up as well. And, now the charge for your luggage, (l)l5.00, then (2)35.00 then ( 3 or more)100.00 for the 3rd piece and 100 for each additional.If total length is over 62" thats another 200.00. Now for the best meal you ever had and 2 swallows of coke on a 9 hr flight can;t be beat. If and when I;m able toreturn,can bet will drive out or go by train if possible. Hope you guys have a happy new year and now that the election is over, hopefully we can discuss guns and hunting again. PS; Where in SE Colorado can you hunt Mule Deer and Lopes? I believe I could drive that distance and take my swettime. O good newd for us in N>C> they entended teh season by about 4 weeks, 2 early and 2 later. Now can hunt here nearly 4 months, including B?A. Me, at 73+ long trips not possible, but hopefully can get a couple guys to go and we share the driving my Camper.The MArlin XL7 is a dandy, best shooting gun beside my 700's ever had, but this gun as bought for 4 wheeling and truck gun, trying to save the Beautiful Walnut finish on the Custom 700s. But for a western hunt the 700 CDl Custon in 06 will go along with the same in 25-06 I;ve had for 35 years. Those 2 calibes is all you need unless you plan to bird hunt. Happy New Year to all. shoot-um-straight and often. The old Southern Gunslinger is back. Afer spending all his $$$ out West.

Clay Cooper

David you’re a real corker!

Even though you made me sick taking the hacksaw to your 338 RUM butchering it down to a 22” Barrel, you’re still ok!

Just let me know to stand back away from the blast when pop the cap on that cannon!

jim in nc

A propos of traveling with guns: I've gotta get my rifle to Texas from NC next fall for a hunt. Too far to drive. Does it make sense just to send my rifle ahead via Fedex or UPS? Seems as if it might be safer and better for the rifle and sight.


Glad to see you had nice trips, even if the game didn't cooperate! Up here, with the weather and all, the adage has always been "if you've got time to spare, go by air". I dread flying as much as going to the dentist! Now, with new Tikka and Nikon scope, I wouldn't think of checking that as baggage. The airlines are a case study in how not to appeal to the potential market for their services. I know that the TSA and FAA both have their fingers in this also, but the airlines, who are the service providers, could at least try to please their clientele.

Jim in nc:
If you must go by air, that's a good idea. The only caveat is that the rifle has to go to a destination that is able to physically receive it. Ideally, it should be signed for. Both UPS and Fedex are notorious for dropping packages on doorsteps. That's how my last three computers have arrived. I haven't lost, or heard, of anyone losing, anyhthing with this delivery method, but I wouldn't want to take achance with a rifle. Maybe they have different rules for firearms.

Jim in Mo

When you ship with UPS an adult signiture is required for delivery. Your package will not be dropped at the door, it is labeled as a firearm for the driver. Google UPS and you can figure out the shipping charge. Don't go cheap, buy insurance.

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