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October 28, 2008

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Bourjailly: Eric Clapton's Gun Sale

One of my first albums, which I bought in 1972 and dearly loved, was “The History of Eric Clapton.” It’s a two-record chronicle of Clapton’s awesome pre-suck period – Yardbirds, Cream, Blind Faith, etc. – when he kept his mouth shut on stage and played the guitar, which he did (and still does when he wants to) about as well as anybody ever has or ever will.

In the mid-70s, Clapton quit being a guitar hero to embark on a long career as a mediocre pop singer. Listening to Clapton bleat his way through fluff like “Wonderful Tonight” when he could be soloing is like watching Michael Jordan flail at minor league pitching when he could have been defying gravity in the NBA finals.

What does this have to do with guns? This: there’s money in singing bad songs badly, and Clapton has made a pile. Bless his heart, he also likes to “shoot” (which is British for “hunt") and he’s bought a lot of really nice shotguns over the years. Now he needs to get rid of some old guns to make room for new ones.

You’d think he could just buy another gun cabinet, but whatever. Not surprisingly, his collection centers on bespoke English guns. Here are a few of them.

Claptonengraving

The auction is set for December. Me, I don’t need a gun with Clapton himself engraved on the sideplate (like the William Evans pair, one of which is shown above) but how great would it be to own a pair of Purdeys with Clapton’s initials on them? It would take me right back to 1972.

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Comments

DavidS

well, i am not a huge clapton nut. but i think he does ok. and i have to disagree with you on wonderful tonight. i think he does that song great. it just would not sound right coming from someone like paul mccartney. back to the guns. while it would be neat to have a shottie with clapton engraved on it, coming directly from his collection. i wouldnt even want to think about how much one of them would cost. somewhere out there is a doctor or lawyer or ceo that is a huge clapton fan. and they will be willing to bid five years (or more) salery for me without even batting an eye on it. no, guns for me are for shooting, not sitting in a safe to polish, and shove down anybodys nose when the come over. when you spend $ way,too,muc.h0 on a gun like that, you can not take it to the woods and risk scratching it. so the bottom line is you are really not buying a gun, you are buying a rock and roll collectors peice.

Jim in Mo

OrangeNeckNY,
According the Shooting Wire Cooper donated $3300 on-line during Obamas campaign against Hillary. Later he donated twice that much to McCain and the RNC.

TommyNash

Low Recoil,

You've got the Remedy. Nice blast from the Money Maker. See ya in the cosmos.

MIKE

HAVE YOU SEEN THE WOMAN "YOU LOOK WONDERFUL TONIGHT" IS ABOUT?!?!
SHE WAS A DOLL IN "HARD DAY'S NIGHT" IN THE SIXTIES AND SHE STILL LOOKS GREAT NOW. SHE'S ALSO THE INSPIRATION FOR "SOMETHING IN THE WAY SHE MOVES", "LAYLA" AND SEVERAL OTHER GEORGE HARRISON AND CLAPTON SONGS.

Phil Bourjaily

Delta King - Thanks for putting me on to the Black Keys. I listened to them on Youtube today. Loved it.

O Garcia

The Beatles may not appeal to everyone, but you gotta give John Lennon some credit for having enough cheek to write this:

"Happiness is a warm gun
When I hold you in my arm [sic]
And feel my finger on your trigger
I know that nobody can do me no harm"

Poor guy ended up getting shot dead by the Man Who Must Not Be Named.

thedeltaking

You're welcome Phil. I just saw them in Nashville the 8th and they put on an amazing show.

johnl

Blues Primer:

1. Most Blues begin with: "Woke up this morning..."

2. "I got a good woman..." is a bad way to begin the Blues unless you stick something nasty in the next line like, "I got a good woman with the meanest face in town."

3. The Blues is simple. After you get the first line right, repeat it. Then find something that rhymes... sort of: "Got a good woman with the meanest face in town. Yes, I got a good woman with the meanest face in town. Got teeth like Margaret Thatcher and she weigh 500 pound."

4. The Blues is not about choice. You stuck in a ditch, you stuck in a ditch - ain't no way out.

5. Blues cars: Chevys, Fords, Cadillacs, and broken-down trucks. Blues don't travel in Volvo's, BMW's, or SUV's. Most Blues transportation is a Greyhound bus or a southbound train. Jet aircraft and state-sponsored motor pools ain't even in the running. Walkin' plays a major part in the blues lifestyle. So does fixin' to die.

6. Teenagers can't sing the Blues. They ain't fixin to die yet.

7. Blues can take place in New York city but not Hawaii or any place in Canada. Hard times in Minneapolis or Seattle is probably just clinical depression. Chicago, St. Louis, and Kansas City are still the best places to have the Blues. You cannot have the blues in any place that don't get rain.

8. A man with a male pattern baldness ain't the Blues. A woman with male pattern baldness is. Breaking your leg 'cause you were skiing is not the Blues. Breaking your leg 'cause the alligator be chomping on it is.

9. You can't have the Blues in an office or a shopping mall. The lighting is wrong. Go outside to the parking lot or sit by the dumpster.

10. Good places for the Blues:
a. highway
b. jailhouse
c. empty bed
d. bottom of a whiskey glass

Bad Places for the Blues:
a. Nordstom's
b. gallery openings
c. Ivy League institutions
d. golf courses

ll. No one will believe it's the Blues if you wear a suit, 'less you happen to be an old ethnic person and you slept in it.

12. Do you have the right to sing the Blues? Yes, if:
a. you older than dirt
b. you blind
c. you shot a man in Memphis
d. you can't be satisfied
No, if:
a. you have all your teeth
b. you were once blind but now you can see
c. the man in Memphis lived
d. you have a 401K or trust fund

13. Blues is not a matter of color. It's a matter of bad luck. Tiger Woods cannot sing the Blues. Sonny Liston could. Ugly white people also got a leg up on the Blues.

14. If you ask for water and your darlin' gives you gasoline, it's the Blues. Other acceptable Blues beverages are:
a. cheap wine
b. whiskey or bourbon
c. muddy water
d. nasty black coffee

The following are NOT Blues beverages:
a. Perrier
b. Chardonnay
c. Snapple
d. Slim Fast
e. Diet Coke

15. If death occurs in a cheap motel or a shotgun shack, it's a Blues death. Stabbed in the back by a jealous lover is another Blues way to die. So are the electric chair, substance abuse and dying lonely on a broken-down cot. You can't have a Blues death if you die during a tennis match or while getting liposuction.

16. Some Blues names for women:
a. Sadie
b. Big Mama
c. Bessie
d. Fat River Dumpling
e. Caledonia

17. Some Blues names for men:
a. Joe
b. Willie
c. Little Willie
d. Big Willie
e. Leroy

18. Persons with names like Michelle, Amber, Jennifer, Tiffany, Brooke, Brittany and Heather can't sing the Blues no matter how many men they shoot in Memphis.

19. Make your own Blues name Starter Kit:
a. name of physical infirmity (Blind, Deaf, Cripple, Lame, etc.)
b. first name (see above) plus name of fruit (Lemon, Lime, Kiwi, etc.)
c. Last name of President (Jefferson, Johnson, Fillmore, etc.)
For example: Blind Lime Jefferson, Jakeleg Lemon Johnson, or Cripple Kiwi Fillmore, etc. (Well, maybe not "Kiwi")

20. Oh, by the way, I don't care how tragic your life; if you own a computer, you cannot sing the Blues.

Mike May

I'm glad to hear he likes his guns. But I will agree some of his songs are lacking, but do admit I like the album he did on Robert Johnson's songs: Me & Mr Johnson great blue songs. You7 can go to your local library and borrow the CD to see if it's in your taste.

semp

Clapton ain't God ... Joe Walsh is God ... I doubt anyone would let Joe have a gun, but I still find his act entertaining :-D

M May

Walsh is alright, but if he's God that explains a lot.

LowRecoil

johnl: you have captured the essence of the blues, and inspired me to hitch a ride to Memphis to shoot somebody. You may now refer to me as Angina Plantain Taft.

WA Mtnhunter

johnl

You might qualify for the blues if you ditch your computer!

Funny stuff!

Ralphaholic

Found an article that says Eric started hunting in 2003, well after his bad boy days... gotta do somethin'. Says he's clearing out his gun room for the new one's he has on order!

Blues Primer is some gooooood shit...

Red Blade

Very soon Barack Obama will be your new President. This is a reality you cannot alter or escape from. It is fact. It is history. It is justice for the world.

Many of you have seen the light and have accepted the truth. And we thank you for your support and aid in electing Barack Obama.

To those who have rejected the truth you have no reason to fear Barack Obama. He is wise and just and he will follow the principals followed by his African forefathers. Barack Obama is the son of Kings and Queens who started human civilization thousands of years ago. Barack Obama remembers his heritage and his obligations to the Truth, Justice and the Future.

Barack Obama understands what is wrong and what needs to be done. Barack Obama has intelligence and vision that has lasted for over a millennium. Barack Obama was born with the appropriate ways of thinking, speaking, and acting and this will inspire you to be liberated for now there is no shackle which can keep you enslaved.

An African Proverb tell us:“Then command the servant, thusly: Make an Elder's staff causing my son to stand in my place I will instruct him through the speech of the listeners and the counsels of the first of the ancients who listened to the divinities. In so doing troubles will be removed from the people.”

Barck Obama is here now to listen, to instruct and will lead you to your new life.

America will have a new start. A change to right itself. A change to correct its wrongs and address its sins. If you support change that will bring forth social and economic justice, you will stand with Barack Obama. Those who have been denied justice in America will get justice. Those will have been denied opportunity will be given opportunity. Those will falsely imprisoned will be freed. Those who are guilty will be punished. America’s salvation is at hand.

Those who have profited in America will play a role helping others. Justice requires equality and fairness and those who have the means will now be fair and will contribute to equality.

Stand with Barack Obama and you will be honored you for your work, sacrifice, dedication and devotion on behalf of all oppressed peoples.

Stand with Barack Obama and you will be honored and celebrated and remembered in song and praise and by your children.

eyeball

My apologies for calling you Dave, Phil. Senior moment.

eyeball

And Red Blade; either you have the dryest sense of humor I have ever encountered, or you are a nut. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you are kidding. Har de har har.

Red Blade

Barack Obama, through his glorious sacrifice, has blazed the trail for the final downfall of decadent American capitalism! The running dog plutocrats of Wall Street and Washington rightly quake in fear at the imminent triumph of socialism! The inevitable outcome of the historical dialectic will be the slaughter of the parasitic capitalists followed by the establishment of a socialistic paradise where such basic needs as food and medecine will be freely and easily available to the proletariot. Arise, my American brothers! You have nothing to lose but your chains!

Red Blade

Everyone overwhelmingly wants Obama, the only ones who want McCain are the dopes.The world wants an America that stands on the moral high ground. Barack Obama represents the restoration of America as the high integrity leader of the free world.

Barack Obama would not engage in cowboy diplomacy, would not go to war under false pretenses, would not condone torture or commit other war crimes.

Under Obama, America will work with other nations to addreess the problems that plague the entire planet, including global warming and the environment.

The world senses this is a transformational American election, and hopes Americans clean up their house. By electing Barack Obama, we will take a giant stride in the right direction. The idea of Capitalism is to get more back than you put into service or product. This business model is fine on a small level. Around the time of the Industrial Revolution Capitalism became the maker of Aristocracy (the same types of people the American Revolution was fought over). The Industrial Revolution recreated the Monarchical system. We still live within this system. This is why I believe that wealth distribution is needed or another American Revolution may take place (or French Revolution).

O Garcia

This is so funny...
"18. Persons with names like Michelle, Amber, Jennifer, Tiffany, Brooke, Brittany and Heather can't sing the Blues no matter how many men they shoot in Memphis."

At the risk of defiling an instant classic, let me say those names above remind me of porn stars.
Can porn stars have the blues?

Red Blade

Ronald Reagan was a white supremacist to his very core, and left enough traces over his lengthy political career so that it’s evident for anyone who cares to look—which apparently few do.Yes, prudent. biased, racist white people
should run away as fast as they can.

Oh Yeah. McCain will Lose. Start Running.

Jim in Mo

Red Blade,
Go away we don't talk to fools.

O Garcia,
Sure porn stars can have the blues, just like John Holmes when he got 'aids' and died.

Bella

I guess that makes me "Migraine Durian Coolidge" ( I play a mean jews harp). Is Red Blade kidding? I haven't heard the dialectic spouted so since I used to go bait the Reds in Cambridge.




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