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May 22, 2008

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Another Shabby, Money-Grubbing Scheme I am Obliged to Support

My sister-in-law, who was for many years a successful literary agent, finally got out of the business because it was too sordid and depressing, and she wearied of the money-making schemes dreamed up by brain-damaged publishers and writers. She said she would rather teach cosmetology at a leper colony. 

Her wisdom is proven correct by Mr. Bill Heavey of Virginia.  Someone (who is presumably loose in public with no one in charge of him) has paid Bill to live off the land for a year and write a book about it. I don't know whether this involves eating grubs, snails, and cockleburs or fighting the local stray cats for dumpster-diving rights, but I do know that Bill will be foraging where the Confederate Army tried to live off the land and nearly starved to death.

Presumably, you will be interested in reading about Mr. Heavey's gradual descent into hunger and madness, with side trips to scurvy and pellagra. If so, he is right here on our website in a new blog called A Sportsman's Life. And if you live in Virginia and should happen to see a ragged, skeletal figure rummaging through your garbage, give it a kick for me.


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Trae B.

They may be "p-cans" in your world, but where I live, we urinate in "p-cans" and thrash "pah-cons"! Where I live, any soft drink is a "Coke"!
The conversation goes:
"Want a Coke!"
"Sure, bring me a Dr. Pepper!" (No Dr. Pepper is "real" unless made and bottled in Dublin, Texas! In Dublin, they still use sugar instead of artificial sweeteners. Talk about a "sugar rush"!)
Pop is the old man or a type of corn!
We hunt with bird dawgs and trap wild hawgs down by that holler lawg!
Why else would I sign.....


Jim in Mo.

Boy you just brought up a topic totally off guns. Soda! Pure cane sugar stills the best. The corn fructose crap made today ain't soda or pop, whichever. During a jewish holiday I think passover, but I very well may be wrong, Coka-Cola makes a special run of soda to abide by the strict diet the Jewish faith must observe, and they bottle it with the more expensive cane sugar. It is bottled (and I mean bottle) with a green cap. Buy it. Tastes like when we were kids, lots of fizz.


Thought this blog was about Heavey's survival rather than guns!? LOL!!!
Was trying to give him (Heavey) some hints about what he could eat out there!
Speaking of survival, I still laugh when I think of the raid of the Republic of Texas compound.
It was somewhere out in the God-forsaken, game rich, waste land of West Texas! One of the "leaders" evaded capture and made it into the "wasteland"!
A DPS (Texas Dept of Public Safety, or state trooper) was on a nationally televised news program and stated flatly, "If the coyotes and javelinas don't get him, the heat will! We'll find his remains!"
The man "was" located. About six months later living under an alias in San Francisco!



Heavey may be descending into hunger but from some of writings I'd venuture that he's already halfway to madness. Maybe that's why so many of us understand and relate to his work so well. Take heart, Bill, mushroom season is upon us.

Jim in Mo.

You can give Bill all the grief you like.



First I wish Bill Heavey all the best! Not an easy year ahead of him!

Unless... he has somehow squirreled that MasterCard into the glove box of the '93 Taurus! Motel 6 beware! Next morning he's in line at the bagel bar swiping extra peanut butter and cream cheese packets when he thinks no one is looking! Next up Mickey Dees for ketchup packets and a cup of hot water, please. (Closed circuit to Bill -- 1. Don't use Heinz Ketchup! 2. Hot sauce perks up the resultant soup!)


Jim in Mo.

Not really trying to give Heavey grief, though he may deserve it, but to let him know that there are folks out there that can and have done what he thinks is unique.

How do you catch a special rabbit?
U-nique up on him!


Rocky Mtn Hunter

To you guys who love old books for good reading, give this one a try. Thundering Herd by Zane Gray. It surly opens your eyes to the demise of the Bison. A great book and facts I never dreamed of. Book may be hard to find, I got mine at a Yard Sale for 2 bits, to me worth a MINT.

Rocky Mtn Hunter

Also on Bison: Any of you guys hunted the Bison on the Crow Indian Reservation near Hardin WY? if so how was your hunt and cost wise?

Del in KS

Rocky mtn Hunter,

I have a neice that lives in Big Sky Montana. Her husband told me you can hunt Bison on Ted Turner's ranch near there for a fee. Not too expensive either according to him.

Rocky Mtn Hunter

Del: Thanks for the Info. Can you get me a e-mail address for this ranch? I was in Big Sky 2 days in 2006,a beautiful place. Not sure, just hear-say, but been told that on a Indian Res. hunt, you only get the hide and head, no meat? A 2k lb Bull would be hard to get back to NC. A few steaks and roast i would like. Ate my first Buffalo Burgr/steak in Medora , SD was great. If the prices of travel, car, plane, etc.continues to rise, the long distance hunts will history for many of us. However, in MT this year, they had 12.400 licenses for Elk/Deer. Over 20K applied, don;t sound as if a lot of people hurting for $$$ does it? I'm on the last minute cancel out list. They also have eight ( 8) licenses they gonna allow a Lottery for at 5 Bucks a chance, can buy all you want. Never been Lucky, so did not apply as will not know the results till late August orMid-Sept. With my disabilities, I doubt I could get my ducks in the row to come out. LAst minutes plane tickets are kinda Iffy./ I also applied for C0, no luck and to KY. Will know on KY late in July. Thats a Day & l/2 drive for me. Plus, have to get a Motel and guide, thats kinda late to find a place.But if were to luck out and draw a Bull tag for KY, I will go if able, if have to sleep in a tent, which I would love, I think. I enjoyed that 60 yrs ago when was a Boy Scout. At 73, doubt would be as much fun. O well, will see. We go zillion w-tails here and they need culling out( no trophies, small bucks). Can kill 2 Bucks and 4 does. If xcrop damage, which we have lots of can get tags to take X# out at night or whenever you see one.Never did like or want to night hunt, that blinds the game and thats not spoting to me. I do enjoy hunting, but fair chase is my method. Thanks for the info of Bison, be great if worked out for 2009. PS; I was not aware Ted Turner allowed any hunting, but heard he was the largest land owner in the West? What really works best for me is a Disable hunt, or find a guy who has a ranch and invites me out as I did in Missoula, Montana in 2000. All of my Western hunts have been town hunts so to speak. With my disabilities, I need hot water and bath room Am and PM for my dressings. In Douglas, Wy on the Hella-va-hunt in 2006, all was taken care of, just had to get there. They put us up at the Fairgrounds, guides, & vehicles and the folks near there feed us,( Prime Rib and t-Bones, the best Hunt I ever been on. l3 disabled guys, all got Lopes within 2 days. I got a nice l5 l/2" Buck, he sure looks real on my game room wall. Thanks again, chat soon.

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