« Bases and Rings, Part Two | Main | Bourjaily: Confessions of a Turkey Misser »

April 28, 2008

This page has been moved to http://www.fieldandstream.com/blogs/gun-nut

If your browser doesn’t redirect you to the new location, please visit The Gun Nut at its new location: www.fieldandstream.com/blogs/gun-nut.

Home on the Range?

As you’re all aware, Hillary Clinton has become the Second Amendment’s Best Friend in the past few weeks; so much so, in fact, that she is thinking of opening a series of franchised shooting schools, starting in the Southwest—just in case things don’t work out in her current job. The trick to creating a successful franchise is to come up with something unique, and I have been contracted to provide ideas that would set these schools apart. Here are my ideas:

*All attendees will be flown in by C-47, which will make a corkscrew landing at the school airport.

*To create a realistic environment, recordings of imaginary sniper fire will be played at all times.

*All attendees will wear pantsuits.

*All attendees will run (or waddle, as the case may be) between classes to avoid imaginary sniper fire.

*When not actually engaged in classes, attendees will play pinochle.

*Attendees who are selected to shoot first in any class are entitled to whine about it.

*Female attendees whose husbands exhibit signs of incipient mental illness are entitled to a 20 percent discount.

That’s what I’ve come up with. What are your suggestions?


TrackBack URL for this entry:

Listed below are links to weblogs that reference Home on the Range?:



Only booth babes with Monica like stats allowed. No lovely TopModel contenders or RockOfLove women.
Lt Yellow Legs Kerry can teach creative medal applications whilst Hilabitch regales the swooning attendees with more details of her narrow brush with Bosnian Snipers (if you consider 9 miles away a narrow brush).

Barak Hussien Obama can teach on alternate Sundays (he can't miss Rev Wright more than one week at a time!) his course will be on how a citified elitist can support the Second Ammendment and still appeal to the Caroline McCarthy and Sarah Brady's of the world.

Oh and on special occations with Hanoi Jane Fonda will come out just to rub our noses in the shitty fact that she has still not even been charged with treason (there is no statute of limitations on treason) for her disgusting anti-American acts in Vietnam.


Hey Dave, I can understand it is a little difficult to come up with subject matter for these blogs but this??? How about a discussion of the 22 rifle or a comparison of 22 lr. vs. the 17 HMR vs. 17 Mack 2 or some other off the wall subject?


I'd pay every cent I have to go if Hillary would stand behind the target. Preferably with Obama next to her.



If Hanoi Jane shows up, she will be the target.

WA Mtnhunter

God help America if either of those liberal fools persuade enough of the uninformed masses to elect either of them.

Couldn't the Democrats do better? I understand a lot of people don't like W, but come on America, wake up! Smell the coffee! With one, the enemy outside the gates will tear our butts apart, and with the other fool, the civil war to ensue will rip us apart.

Get a grip!


To BeeKeeper:

I see your Comments about
Sierra Club. Is this the same Sierra Club that is advertised on this web site????


I always thought that the Sierra Club had something to do with those fine folks from Missouri that make bullets.

Anyway, if Hilary's father taught her how to shoot, I wonder when she was going to teach Chelsey? Cut outs of Bill and Monica would make interesting motivational targets.


PbHead, trust me, the Missourians making those fine Sierra bullets and the Sierra Club are completely different entities. I am more than surprised to see the Sierra Club advertisments - they have been anti-hunting in the past. I am skeptical.


Hillary and Bill both must agree to become running deer targets.


Well, since we are discussing (in a way)politicians Dave, did you see CNN the other night when Kinky Friedman (he ran for gov. of Texas) was asked his opinion of Obama's chances now that Rev. Wright won't keep his mouth shut, and Obama's association with terrorist Bill Ayers? Kinky's reply was,"only if Obama could get Ayers to bomb Rev. Wright"

WA Mtnhunter

Sierra Club supporting hunters?

Sort of like Hillary duck hunting with her rifle, John Kerry crawling on his belly with a shotgun deer hunting, and Obama supporting 2nd Amendment rights.



Im lost...whats wrong with the Sierra Club..? ? ?..

Its unbelievable the way the democrats are shooting themselves in the foot. If McCain can get a strong running mate(ive heard rumors of Mike Huckabee,,and even better. . Condolesa Rice. Which would steel the Minority and Womens. .. .i think that the Republicans still might be able to win this.



james t

while we are destroying the country with these two democrats, at the end of the camp we could gather all the children we can find and have hill and the terrorist teach them how to knock of a liquor store, buy a bag of crack, and shoot missles at airliners. and they have to rob the store with with a shovel since guns will soon be outlawed. have to teach the children well and give them half a chance right?

Dr. Ralph

Peter... you think the Republicans might actually win this? There will be a centrist veteran POW running against a mixed race Muslim bred hate monger with little to no experience. I'm no racist but the fact is there has been a white male president as long as there has been a president, and I'd have voted for Gen. Colin Powell but I just don't see Barack as having the same stature. I'm amazed at the Dumbocrats inability to produce a viable candidate. Indiana has already won the battle to keep illegal immigrants from voting. The Supreme Court just put their seal of approval on Indiana's new law that all voters must have a valid photo ID, with the vote being split libs against and cons for. Watch for other conservative states to follow suit swiftly in an attempt to thwart millions of illegals from voting for Obama. Hillary is actually mathematically eliminated from the nomination unless the super delegates pull a coup against the will of the actual voters. Remind anyone else of the Electoral College the Dem's were so upset about?

james t

anything that eliminates hillary is good for me regardless of what it is and people are finally starting to see what the terrorist is...just that!



Two things that should never be brought up, expecially in a deer camp with weapons close at hand:
1. Politics
2. Religion
Either with throw someone into throes of rage, even if you are the only one present!

BUT! (there's that but [butt?!] again!)
Read Revelations, that's the last book in your bible!
I'm not a wanna be dooms day sorta person, but too much of it is coming together!

P.S. - Just a point of view only, the facts will present themselves in time, EITHER way!


Dr. Ralph,
You are dead on target about Hitlery being mathamaticly eliminated, but you forget she is a CLINTON. They are like the Hydra,cut off one head and two
grow back. I don't like the idea of King John McCain for four or eight years, but I like it a lot less than I do Hitlery or Hussein.
As to a viable Demoncrat candidate,when have they ever
produced one?
The last one they elected, Slick Willie the Rapist, brought us to the brink of disaster, and either of the other two would be waving the white flag to every illegal, terrorist, gun grabber, the U.N. and a host of other Anti-Americans
that are out in the weeds, waiting.

Mike Diehl

I'd vote for any Clinton over any Bush any Day. If I had a dollar for every unsubstantiated claim made about the Clintons by a loud-mouthed troll-witted right wing perp-lout, I'd be wealthy enough to pay off the US National Debt.

Jim in Avon

Gotta have a course in improvised weapons: When the Secret Service hold the only nearby guns and you just HAVE to take off your philandering Old Man's head, how to hurl the nearest lamp with devastating accuracy...

And, BTW, it's Dave's blog. Don't like what he blogs about, go join a MySpace chat group, wtf.

james t

mike diehl...if you want to vote for clinton, go ahead. while you are at it, give all of us your guns because if you don't want to fight for them we will! or do you even own one? please tell me you aren't here just for companionship! jeez, you sound like my liberal brother who doesn't know better!

Jim in Avon

And, Mr. Diehl: if you "had a dollar for EVERY unsubstantiated claim..." etc., you would have precisely ONE dollar. But if you "had a dollar for EACH unsubstantiated claim..." (as you assess them to be), you might have enough for a night in the Lincoln bedroom, should your heroine somehow secure the house keys. It is upon such grammatical imprecision that the Clintons have built their empire of lies. Who can ever forget the definition of "is"?

Any Clinton over any Bush? All right. You take Roger, Bill's no-account brother. I'll take Jeb, the Bush who should have been president. I win. Thankyou, and good night.

Mike Diehl

I'm just saying Dave's blogged better than the river of chickenpoop he started here.

Jeez, grow up people!

james t

chicken poop?! you really don't own a gun do you? this is as serious as it gets! you grow up and if you want to vote for a gun grabber, then go somewhere else because you won't be welcome here! i am a gunsmith and my livelyhood is more threatened now than ever before. the people here are grown up and know the facts. do your homework!

Jim in Mo.

james t,
Count your blessings, your a gunsmith, they take your guns you can build a new one. Me? I'm screwed, so I'm fightin for mine.

Our Blogs