Return of the Booth Babes: The 2007 SHOT Show
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Some Incidental Information
I have been asked what the high point of my job as a shooting editor has been, and it has nothing to do with guns. It occurred in Anchorage Airport at 3:30 AM about ten years ago when the lady agent at the ticket counter and I discovered that we both knew the lyrics to "They're Coming to Take Me Away, Ha Ha," which made it to #3 on the Billboard charts in the summer of 1966 before it was yanked off the air.
Recited by someone who billed himself as Napoleon XIV, the song was deemed offensive to the mentally ill, and the ticket agent and I recited the whole thing at the top of our lungs, causing the airport cops who were listening to unsnap the straps on their holsters. I have a 45 rpm record of it and play it because it irritates my wife intensely. You can find the lyrics on the Internet with very little trouble.
From the Mini Gun/Suburban Post. The cyclic rate of fire for the original modern-day Gatling, the 20mm Vulcan, was 6,000 rounds per minute. The current 7.62mm Mini Gun, the M-134, has an adjustable cyclic rate of 1,000 to 10,000 rounds per minute. Hoo boy! When I was in the Army, they told us that at 6,000 rpm you could put a round in every square inch of a football field in 60 seconds. Who figured that out I have no idea. A fighter jock I know (F-15s) says that at the rate his 30mm cannon spits out the lead, he has about 6 seconds of gun time. Why not carry more? Because it weighs a ton.
A blogger who signs himself Anon (for Anonymous, I presume) tells me to get over my irrational hatred of Hillary--she's not that bad, he says. To which I reply:
I do not hate Hillary, but she is a natural object of scorn, mockery, and derision, as is her husband. Some politicians lend themselves to this naturally. For example, I got this photo from three different sources in the space of an hour.
Others do not. Anyone heard any good Ron Paul jokes recently?
As for her likely performance in the nation's highest office, I believe she would do us in. If there still was a United States at the end of her term it would not elect another woman president for 100 years.
Damn Sarg, I like you more every day. Tommy thinks I'm a kill-a-holic and my disdain for him increases with each and every post...
Posted by: Dr. Ralph | January 28, 2008 at 04:45 PM
Whew! You guys made my eyes cross w/ your commentary. I'm in Ohio and we are just behind Michigan in trying to dig out after Gov Taft, wealthy republican Govenor, left us in deep dodo. A strong republican state, the folks w/ money and education are leaving ASAP.The only folks left, it seems, are gun loving bluecollars who have lost their manufacturing jobs.Hillary can't screw us worse.
Posted by: BAC | January 28, 2008 at 04:46 PM
Hillary probably hasn't screwed anyone in years (remember Bill's definition of sex)!
But if she gets in, I bet we are all about to find out......
Given all the alternatives, God save us.
Posted by: CJ | January 28, 2008 at 05:23 PM
Wow Doc Ralph. Disdain is a bit strong for a guy that admittedly hangs out and shoots guns with those cloaked in white with pointy hats.
Benn to any clan rallies lately there buddy?
Don't like the realities that face you huh? I would say you have others to worry about. And as far as puss goes, I feel just fine about where I am sitting, however your mistakes turn out. Maybe we will get to discuss it one day over all out hysteria. I would love to put the puss thing to test.
Posted by: Tommy | January 30, 2008 at 10:46 AM
There's a good chance you've heard it, but I heard a good Hitlery joke today:
This old guy goes up to the sharp and tight Marine standing at the entrance to the White House grounds and says, "I want to see the President of the United States, Hillary Clinton."
The Marine authoritatively replies, "Hillary Clinton is not the President of the United States, sir. She does not live in the White House. Please move along."
The old guy smiles and leaves.
So, the next day, the old fart (I can see Dave Petzal doing this.) comes along again, walks up to the Marine and says, "I want to see the President of the United States, Hillary Clinton."
The Marine replies, again, "Hillary Clinton is not the President of the United States, sir. She does not live in the White House. Please move along."
And, again, the old guy smiles and leaves.
Well, the old man does the same thing every day for the next week. Finally, the Marine can't stand it any longer and says, "I've told you every day, sir, that Hillary Clinton is not the President of the United States. She does not live in the White House. Please stop asking to see her."
The old timer smiles a big smile and replies, "I know, I just like to hear you say it."
The stolid Marine smiles and says, "Yessir, see you tomorrow, sir."
Posted by: Richard Smith | January 30, 2008 at 05:33 PM
Richard Smith, *I like your joke, ALOT. I hope it stays a joke. By the way BAC, you should stop doing crack, it kills, I live in Ohio now and I think that if Hillary has a strapon, you should volenteer for the screwin, I'll go out kicken, screamen, or shooten, Quit feelin sorry for yourself. Or tell your husband that you are having your period.!
Posted by: Mock1 | February 01, 2008 at 11:58 PM
Oh shoot Tommy, I don't discriminate... I have Mexican friends, black friends, even one friend who's a Democrat and a banker! I've never seen anyone in a Klan outfit but I did have a girl in my High School class whose dad was a Grand Dragon or Imperial Master or some such crap. Everyone was afraid of her, that much I do know. Anyone at a range with a gun I've never shot (especially full auto models) will notice me hanging around drooling and usually ask if I'd like to try it out. I will... regardless of their twisted irrational thought patterns. Well, unless they happen to be a lawyer. I do have some standards.
Posted by: Dr. Ralph | February 03, 2008 at 02:21 PM
Just catching up and wanted to add my 2 cents. Or is it 4 cents now?
There's been a lot of talk about the F-4 Phantom here. I've never been close enough to touch one, and this will reduce the odds of it happening, but some company is giving one away (a disabled F-4C) in a sweepstakes. While I know nothing about this company, I assume they're honest, but I don't really know. The whole history of this particular plane is given, and maybe some of you know it. It was in service from '65 to '97. I won't put the link here on Mr.P's page, but if you search the web for phantom jet and sweepstakes I'm sure you'll find it. They claim it's free to enter. If you win I want to sit in the cockpit.
Also - The Chinese are already getting hooked on RonnieMacs and the rich ones are already getting bellies. I know, I've gone there and seen it. Won't be long now.
I even had the nads to snap a photo of a video surveillance camera that was pointed at me in Tiennamen Square (spelling?) , and retained my freedom. Guess the guards were sleeping.
I think Yohan makes sense. But I'm not sure about Tommy, except to say if society falls and you're hungry enough, there ain't nothin' better fed than a human, or "long pig" as it is sometimes called. But Tommy, ONLY IF SOCIETY FALLS. Got that?
As for wild pig, they are very tasty.
I won't offer to "throw down" with you, Yohan. I wouldn't last long, unless it's racing sailboats, and yes, that is a challenge. If we all had one, we'd impoverish the Arabs.
Mine was only $300 for 14ft. That's less than $22 a foot.
So let's smash the myth that it's only a rich man's sport.
I don't know how long it would take to shoot a bullet into every sq.in. of a football field, but you'd have to be one heck of a good shot at 6,000 rpm.
Posted by: shootreadyaim | February 06, 2008 at 05:51 AM
for anyone who wasted their life by being convinced for a second by all of the misnomers present in the american thinker article. I don't have time to offer rebuttal to all of them, but look at this.
"I should first mention that the only source of energy to heat the atmosphere is the sun. The average energy per unit time (power) in the form of sunlight impinging on the earth is roughly constant year-to-year, and there are no means to increase or reduce the energy flux to the earth. The question merely is how much of this energy is trapped in the atmosphere and available to melt ice thus effecting "climate change"."
-How do you heat your house in the winter? just wondering if the sun does that for you or if burning fossil fuels releases any heat.
Posted by: luke | February 11, 2008 at 10:04 PM
Love your blog as Mark Twain said 'sometimes honesty is the best joke of all'. To an outsider it appears my Labrador would be a better president than the incumbent and there is little left for Hillary to actually ruin. As no woman has been President in 250 years, 100 more b4 the next is what the world expects. Does anyone else see irony in the US hating women more than Blacks? And it does hate Blacks just ask any of them
Posted by: andrew black | February 13, 2008 at 09:46 AM
Mr. Petzal,
Your blog is informative, often funny, and sometimes poetic but why the crack on women? It's one thing to poke at a social group (i.e. a political party) that you don't identify with but why insult a group that one has no choice in belonging to? (i.e. women, men) Degrading Hilary because she is a woman is taking a stab at every woman's ability to perform under stress, making logical decisions, and defending herself in a political atmosphere. I personally do not support Sen. Clinton for the position of President but I am not against a woman president. Why would you be against a woman for President anyways? Are they inherentely less intelligent? Do they make worse decisions than men? Does qualifying experience remain regardless for them?
These questions may remain rhetorical, as I am not pro or against a response, but please do remember that you're supporting a stereotype of inability and inequality by suggesting a woman as president is not needed for another 100 years.
Posted by: NRA's newest VA member | February 27, 2008 at 04:30 PM