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January 22, 2008

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Some Incidental Information

I have been asked what the high point of my job as a shooting editor has been, and it has nothing to do with guns. It occurred in Anchorage Airport at 3:30 AM about ten years ago when the lady agent at the ticket counter and I discovered that we both knew the lyrics to "They're Coming to Take Me Away, Ha Ha," which made it to #3 on the Billboard charts in the summer of 1966 before it was yanked off the air.

Recited by someone who billed himself as Napoleon XIV, the song was deemed offensive to the mentally ill, and the ticket agent and I recited the whole thing at the top of our lungs, causing the airport cops who were listening to unsnap the straps on their holsters. I have a 45 rpm record of it and play it because it irritates my wife intensely. You can find the lyrics on the Internet with very little trouble.

From the Mini Gun/Suburban Post. The cyclic rate of fire for the original modern-day Gatling, the 20mm Vulcan, was 6,000 rounds per minute. The current 7.62mm Mini Gun, the M-134, has an adjustable cyclic rate of 1,000 to 10,000 rounds per minute. Hoo boy! When I was in the Army, they told us that at 6,000 rpm you could put a round in every square inch of a football field in 60 seconds. Who figured that out I have no idea. A fighter jock I know (F-15s) says that at the rate his 30mm cannon spits out the lead, he has about 6 seconds of gun time. Why not carry more? Because it weighs a ton.

A blogger who signs himself Anon (for Anonymous, I presume) tells me to get over my irrational hatred of Hillary--she's not that bad, he says. To which I reply:
I do not hate Hillary, but she is a natural object of scorn, mockery, and derision, as is her husband. Some politicians lend themselves to this naturally. For example, I got this photo from three different sources in the space of an hour.


Others do not. Anyone heard any good Ron Paul jokes recently?

As for her likely performance in the nation's highest office, I believe she would do us in. If there still was a United States at the end of her term it would not elect another woman president for 100 years.


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She is and will be that bad. that is a interesting point about there not being another one for a hundred years. while i have nothing against the idea of a women president this isnt the one. and she may well be bad enough to be the last.

Slick Rick

A radio station just coming on the air around 1980 played that song 24 hours a day for a week, then went into their regular format. Probably one of the greatest promo's ever. You can't hear that song without thinking about that radio station.


You still have 45’s???? What on earth do you play them upon? I have enough problems using cassette tapes. But I recall the tune.

Napoleon XIV was one of the tortured souls back then, but one of my favorites was the Philosopher. “Is that’s what on your mind? Is that’s what bothering you?…..Never give up the Ship!”

I found I can listen to these and others…..on the Dr Demento Show. Here’s the link:

It’s what all the right wing, conservative, evangelico demon-casters on this blog need.

BTW where's global warming when you need it? Another Sign of the End of Times.


That bumper sticker is making the rounds I have gotten it three times so far.


Hillary Clinton I fear would be another Governor Jennifer Grandholm of Michigan. Governor Grandholm has taken a State that was in disrepair and made it irreparable. We have the worst unemployment rate in the nation. Our public schools are closing the doors for lack of funds. In the last 6 years more Michigan Public schools have closed their doors for good then in the whole history of Michigan. It is the hardest place in the nation to open a new business because of all the red tape and taxes. Governor Grandholm's campaign Slogan was "give me 2 years and you will be Blown away." Well it has been 6 years and we are blown away. Dead in the water, 6 feet under and floating with the fishes. I am not saying that Hillary will do that to the Nation because I have no way of predicting the future. But I refuse to vote for someone that can not treat the people around her with respect. Especially the people that are sworn to protect her life. I do not care that you do not have any privacy and are surrounded by people every where you go. Sorry I was referring to a incident where one of her Secret Service Agents said good morning to her and she screamed "It is bad enough that I have to see these people every day But I do not have to talk to them."

A Bored Engineer

A football field has 6,912,000 sq. inches (not counting end zones). It would take a little more than 19 hours to put a hole in each at a rate of 6000 rounds per minute. None the less, the rate of fire of the mini gun is extremely impressive.


I can hear Bin Laden now!

"Infideltress Clinton, as I understand the definition of "detonate", I DID NOT "detonate" that neuclear device in Washington, D.C., Paris, Israel, Pakistan, Afganistan, or London!"


Chad Love

"They're coming to take me away" was (and I presume still is) a staple on the old Dr. Demento show, to which I was hopelessly addicted during my formative years.
Ahhh, good, geeky times.
May explain why I turned out the way I did...
Regretfully none of the stations here still carry the good doctor.
May explain why kids now turn out the way they do...
I'd much rather let my chldren listen to Dr. Demento than Dr. Dre...

And of course, this being Field & Stream, it's only a matter of time before some fellow Demento fan mentions Da Yoopers classic "Second Week of Deer Camp."

Chad Love

Looks like you beat me to the Demento punch, Mark..

Dave Petzal

To Mark-1: I only have two 45s. The other one is Lonnie Donnegan singing "Rock Island Line." To play them, I got little plastic inserts that adopt the great big 45 spindle hole to a 33 rpm player, and I have a 33 rpm player that also goes at 45 or 78 rpm.

To Bored Engineer: Thank you for that intel. My info was apparently just one more lie the government told me. But I recently heard those same numbers on National Geographic channel, I think.


Dave, love your blog, just one minor correction:
The F-15 has a 20mm gun system, not a 30mm. The 30mm comes standard with the A-10. Unless your source was talking about a gun pod, which I don't know if there is one for the F-15, it only shoots 20mm. Same as F-16 and F-4. My source? Me, 8 years in the Air Force as a 462 then 21W151 (Weapons Troop)on the F-15, F-16, F-4, & F-111. Why not carry more? Gun is the last resort, safer,(for our pilot) to knock out the enemy at a great distance with missles (not safer for enemy pilot.)

Dave Petzal

To Chad Love: Deepest condolences. I had to listen to "Second Week of Deer Camp" three times in a row about 20 years ago, and my brain acquired a spongy texture which it has never lost.


I don't have the problem with the "female" POTUS. My problem is with someone who listens to emotion, (New Hampshire incident) instead of steely eyed resolve!
If she had any idea what was going on around her, how could the MonLew affair have occured? How can she, as a female, be so insecure as to remain with a spouse that has openly cheated, lied about it to the entire nation, and still think she has the "grit" to be a POTUS? She can't even stand up to her husband! She can't handle her own marriage! Will she handle the presidency in the same manner? Of all the feminine wiles, if she ain't using Billy Boy to climb to the top, I don't know what else you could possibly call it!
Don't get me started. Or is it too late?


Dave Petzal

To John: My error. My informant spoke Airforcespeak, and I was in technical overload 15 seconds into the conversation. He did, however, make the same point you did, that the gun is the last resort, and it's better to light 'em up with a missile from 15 miles when they have no idea you're around.


It's da second week of deer camp
and all da boys are here!
We drink, play cards and shoot da bull
but never shoot no deer!
The only time we leave da camp
is when we go for beer!
It's da second week of ......


John Russo

No worries Dave,
I have a very limited knowledge of guns since I am an archer, but I do own and use revolvers, pistols, rifles... but when I saw the fighter aircraft info it felt good to finally know something about a subject in your blog and be able to offer an educated opinion. Keep up the great work.


That's a Yooper's tune!!!!!!!!


Where YJ when you really need him?


Dr. Ralph

...to the funny farm, where life is beautiful all the time." We used to make petitions when I was in Jr. High. Not for world peace or anything stupid like that, but to send off to Dr. Demento.

How do I hate Hiltery? Let me count the ways... the problem I have is her socialist viewpoint. Fortunately the fact that she looks and acts like a stone cold b*tch makes her unelectable.


Does the 10,000 RPM mini gun have something to do with the high price of ammo?

Dave can we expect daily updates from the upcoming SHOT show?


Hillary,,,, she rode the wave of sympathy to make senator, her hubby was a joke, maybe Bill could cheat on her a couple of months before the election so she can ride another wave of sympathy into the oval office. What a bitch.


By the way guys, sorry about my language, but I envision this blog as a bunch of guys sitten around deer camp talking, as in real life



No offense taken, but remember, the ladies read these blogs also!


Bernie Kuntz

Dave, I love your sense of humor. Some of the things you write are outrageously funny. I wish I had save your F & S article where you were making grunting, snorting sounds in the theater when a famous actor (I forgot his name) wrapped himself into a sling before accosting a lion. You said your PH just about tore your head off for even having a sling on your rifle while hunting lion.

I am with you on Hillary Clinton. The thought of her as President scares me to death.

Regarding the mini-gun, at 6,000 rounds per minute, hitting every inch of a football field--the story I heard while I was with the 1st Marine Division in Vietnam was that "Puff the Magic Dragon", a tricked out C-130, I think it was, (I don't know one airplane from another), had several mini-guns on board, and supposedly could blanket a field like that. I assumed it was within a matter of less than a minute. It could have been more military B.S. like the "life expectancy of a radio operator in a firefight or a 2nd lt. being 22 seconds"...as if someone was sitting there with a damned stopwatch. I was a radio operator with recon, was in a number of firefights, and my dumb ass is still here!

I enjoy the blog!

Trae B.

Well thanks MR.Petzal for setting me up with something that I heard to day.I was watching something on tv about my favorite music artist Serg Tankian.he just came out with a new cd and he had just got back from the war and he named one of his songs as the best way to explain what was happining over seas."Praise the Lord and Pass the Ammunition".
And from what I hear that about sums it up and because of all ive heard on here about being in the army and stuff as soon as im old enough i'm joining the military.

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