David E. Petzal - The Gun Nut

I have been asked what the high point of my job as a shooting editor has been, and it has nothing to do with guns. It occurred in Anchorage Airport at 3:30 AM about ten years ago when the lady agent at the ticket counter and I discovered that we both knew the lyrics to "They're Coming to Take Me Away, Ha Ha," which made it to #3 on the Billboard charts in the summer of 1966 before it was yanked off the air.

Recited by someone who billed himself as Napoleon XIV, the song was deemed offensive to the mentally ill, and the ticket agent and I recited the whole thing at the top of our lungs, causing the airport cops who were listening to unsnap the straps on their holsters. I have a 45 rpm record of it and play it because it irritates my wife intensely. You can find the lyrics on the Internet with very little trouble.

From the Mini Gun/Suburban Post. The cyclic rate of fire for the original modern-day Gatling, the 20mm Vulcan, was 6,000 rounds per minute. The current 7.62mm Mini Gun, the M-134, has an adjustable cyclic rate of 1,000 to 10,000 rounds per minute. Hoo boy! When I was in the Army, they told us that at 6,000 rpm you could put a round in every square inch of a football field in 60 seconds. Who figured that out I have no idea. A fighter jock I know (F-15s) says that at the rate his 30mm cannon spits out the lead, he has about 6 seconds of gun time. Why not carry more? Because it weighs a ton.

A blogger who signs himself Anon (for Anonymous, I presume) tells me to get over my irrational hatred of Hillary--she's not that bad, he says. To which I reply:
I do not hate Hillary, but she is a natural object of scorn, mockery, and derision, as is her husband. Some politicians lend themselves to this naturally. For example, I got this photo from three different sources in the space of an hour.

Others do not. Anyone heard any good Ron Paul jokes recently?

As for her likely performance in the nation's highest office, I believe she would do us in. If there still was a United States at the end of her term it would not elect another woman president for 100 years.

I got seriously interested in rifles in the late 1950s, and being a sensitive and intelligent lad, I quickly realized that there was something terribly wrong in that particular universe. My first .22, a Winchester Model 77, spit bits of brass and gunpowder into my right eye. When I shot on a summer camp rifle team cinched up in a military sling, my right thumb was more or less permanently implanted in my nose. I was, you see, a left-handed shooter in a right-handed world.

In 1958, Weatherby came out with a left-hand Mark V, but it cost $200, and who had $200? In that same year, Savage announced the left-hand Model 110, but while serviceable and affordable, it was no rifle for a person of taste and culture like myself.

And so I swore that one day I would make rifles so wonderful that everyone would lust after them, but they would be made left-hand only, and right handers could only grind their teeth in envy. Well, I got into this business instead, but someone else has done what I swore to do. His name is Mike Morreal, and his company is called Bedrock Industries.

Bedrock is the distributor for Noveske Rifleworks LLC, which is run by a gifted and meticulous gunsmith named John Noveske. There are two lines of Noveske rifles. One is left-hand bolt-action sporters; the other is true left-hand ARs in various configurations. They do not make right-hand guns. I’ve wanted to write that sentence for 50 years so I'll do it again. They do not make right-hand guns.

I haven't seen the ARs but I have shot a Noveske bolt-action in .280, and I can tell you that there is no one doing better work. The gun is so good that, if I were a right-handed shooter, I would be grinding my teeth. In both design and quality there is simply no way to improve it.

Eat your livers, right-handed swine!

For details and prices and more pictures, go to lefthandrifles.com.

This film clip came to us with no information. It looks like one of the black Suburbans that are used in presidential motorcades, but is equipped with what appears to be a 7.62mm mini-gun on a hydraulic lift (6,000 rounds per minute! Hoo boy!)

I wonder if this infernal combination is the latest word in presidential protection. Years ago I was told by a former Secret Service agent (or I think I was; it's getting harder to separate what actually happened from what I think happened) that the black Suburbans in the Presidential motorcade are filled with SS agents who are armed to the teeth, and that if there is any kind of trouble they'll pile out of the Chevy and shoot everything that moves.

If true, this mini-gun Suburban would certainly fit in with those kind of tactics. Or it might have been built for Hillary Clinton. The next person who makes her cry is going to get a response he/she didn't see coming.

In 1987, former Secretary of Labor Raymond Donovan and six other defendants were brought to trial in a New York City court for fraud. When the jury cleared everyone of all charges, Donovan famously asked: "Which office do I go to to get my reputation back?"

The answer, which he well knew, was none. He had been screwed by the government, and that was the end of it. That is but one type of screwing that the government administers when it has a mind to. Another one was visited on a gunmaker friend of mine last year.

He held a license to manufacture, and in the past, BATFE had sent him a new license automatically and all he had to do was pay them. Last year, for whatever reason, they didn't, and no one at the shop thought to call and ask for a renewal. They learned about it when the Bureau informed them that their license to manufacture had expired, and that they were to cease and desist operation. They could have simply sent him a renewal with a note to pay better attention in future; but that is not the government way.

And so my friend shut down for a month, which was the amount of time the BATFE made him dance until he got his new license. And that 30 days cost him $760,000. He was never fined; no judgment was levied against him; there was no official penalty. But he is still three-quarters of a million dollars poorer and so are his dozen or so employees, who had no part in any of this.

To which office does he go to his money back? Probably the same one Ray Donovan went to for his reputation. He could conceivably go to court and sue the BATFE, but that would cost him even more in money and time.

Just another episode in this land of government of the people, by the people, for the people.