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June 01, 2007

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NO FINER WAY TO GO

A good friend of mine, and a true gun nut—a Class III Dealer, no less—passed away this winter in his home in New Hampshire while clutching a handgun and watching the History Channel. Because he lived alone, he was not found for a couple of days, and since there was no doctor to witness his end, the sheriff was called in to investigate.

She was a young woman, and unfamiliar with the ways of gun nuts, and she was absolutely convinced that the man was a suicide. Why else would he be clutching a handgun? But there was no bullet wound, and finally his friends were able to convince her that there is nothing more natural to sit watching the History Channel while groping a gun of one sort or another.

There are worse ways to go. In fact, the only better one I can think of is to have a heart attack while packing out a 457-point Boone and Crockett elk that you have taken.

Where does one sign up for such a demise?

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Comments

JA Demko

I would prefer to go the Al Bundy way, "with a slice [of pizza] in one hand and a greasy hooter in the other."

tom

This is deep Dave, have not put too much time into thinking about this one........

On another note, I have a quick question. I am heading back to Alaska next month and I am going to have a Marlin Guide Gun for Bear and Combat fishing Protection. I will probably have some spray with me also. Could you advise a bullet choice for this purpose? I will be exposed to Grizzly and Black bears. I know there are many choices, could you narrow it down……


Please, no comments about bringing a .22 and shooting my friend in the leg.

Dr. Ralph

Whew... I thought I was the only one who sat around groping firearms. The best thing is one can have as many as one can afford and they don't get jealous!

Missy Moose

Another 'better way' (although not hunting related) was a long-time farmer who quietly died in his sleep while discing his field.

Yeah... always better to die doing what you love.

JP

Missy...

so he died sleeping and discing at the same time? That is multitasking!

Concerned_Soldier

I can think of better non-hunting related ways to go.

V/R

C_S

Mtnhunter

I read a story in the Billings Gazette a few years ago about a man in his 80's in NW Wyoming who passed away during the annual family elk hunt. He was out on the mountain sitting against a pine tree in the sunshine with his elk rifle across his lap. That is exactly how they found him when he failed to rendezvous at the appointed time.

He must have lived a righteous life because he was allowed to pass into eternity in such a manner. We should all be so fortunate.

ishawooa

I remember the passing of the older hunter spoken of in the previous email and can personally attest of its truth. Insofar as where to sign up for the ending it all with the 457 elk on the mountain, I suggest next year with the Wyoming Game and Fish. I know several mountains between Cody and Yellowstone that can easily create the result you desire.

Mtnhunter

Ish...

You are mighty right. I think I'll stick to the ranch we hunt in NW Colorado. They don't have to quarter YOU to get your ccarcass out of there!

Steve C


Good Ways to Die

The Bing Crosby Effect:
Walking off the 18th green and having a heart attack.

The Deep Impact Effect:
Standing on the beach and watching an earth destroying asteroid crash into the ocean. The ultimate big show.

The George Perry Effect:
Bagging the largest (fill in the blank) and, upon seeing it, immediately having a fatal coronary

Bad Ways to Die

The Elvis Effect:
Straining while on the can

The Entomology Effect:
Going over a hornets nest on a lawn tractor

The Fugu/Last Supper Effect:
Showing off to your Japanese business associates while taking a bite of the wrong part of a blowfish


John

I'd rather just not die, thank you.

John

I'd rather just not die, thank you.

John

I'd rather just not die, thank you.

John

this new verify the letters and numbers thing sucks - made me triple post

HGHunter

The elk hunt demise that Mtnhunter described would be the way to go if I had my choice to go peacefully. But I think I would rather be the last one to expire after a good gun fight in which I took out all of the other S.O.B.'s that killed me.
But remember "It is not how you die or even how you live, but the legacy that you leave."

Andre

Here are some reasons why I like guns:

1) Power
2) Danger
3) Possibility

Saddam's last wish was that he be executed by firing squad. He was instead hung like a common criminal. I wonder who got that beautiful mannlicher he left behind?

Kevorkian's secret formulae are the real story behind the remarkable preservation of Lenin's remains.

It is said that Lenin is so perfectly preserved that only a simple electrical treament would be necessary to restore him to full function. According to sources, nothing more complex than an ordinary automotive storage battery and a few feet of enameled magnet wire would be required to administer the restorative procedure.

These facts, which are no longer in dispute by any serious scholar, make clear the true purpose behind Jack Kevorkian's persistent experimentation upon the newly- dead and the nearly-dead. He is not motivated by any compassionate impulse. Rather, Dr. Kevorkian seeks nothing less than immortality for himself and the Russian Communist Old Guard. It is safe to assume that Kevorkian expects to be richly rewarded for his services by the ruling elite of a new Communist hegemony under a Lenin restored to his full vigour and health.

Anton Enjoyed great Gay Sex? i want to ask about your society. is your church a bad church or a good, i am asking because want to know you preach, are you preaching about the goodness of satan or you preach about thte wickedness of satan..Hey Satan here! So when did lets have a church? Im supposed like NOT have a church! Whats with you fools? And stop involving snakes! I have a large allergy to them, I know its weird but I get an awkward rash. Anyhow if you read last book of James you'd notice Im kinda against computers, Kinda user friendly(which Im against) and they melt rather easily in hellfire

Now i'd like to say your doing good work, or bad work I never seem to get that phrase paradox right, but your really useless, which is pretty much what Im about. In fact I just sit watching Cheers reruns and eating doritos, well not those tandouri ones, they aren't that good but I wanted to try them basically cuz of those sweet commercials LOLZ Anyhow maybe dont believe in me, Im too lazy to fight jesus and his A-team. By the way can you send me mayonaise? im kinda out and it helps heart burn. just drop it down the bottomless pit of kthulu in mexico city, by the Sancha bar offa St.clair street. Sweet dreams and Mild urine infections Sturmgewehr.com Satan Sturmgewehr.com Sturmgewehr.com

http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f78/jonjayray/hiltax.jpg

The greatest secret of world War Two is that the Pope spray-painted Hitler. From that point onward, Hitler was incapable of rational discourse. He began to ignore his generals, and indulged in raving diatribes against "that big fat Jew, Churchill, and his grinning little Jew lapdog, Roosevelt". Soon Hitler had suceeded in dissipating the mighty military power of the Reich, and the dirty Kurz masses of Barbarian Russia over-ran the Fatherland.

Tom Fowler

A good death should follow a good life, logically. Daniel Boone died peacefully while squirrel hunting, his favorite rifle across his aged knees. As shooters, we all have probably thought a bit about this, and perhaps ideally, after living a worthy life, an aged hunter like myself would love to go while elk hunting in the Rockies, our Dad's old Mauser across our lap, and hearing the echoes of our grown children's gunshots across the canyon, knowing they tagged out today.

Thank you, Lord.

Tom Fowler

Norman

We all must go and do not know when and how. Not much choice here, God's decision. I am happy for all of us who went peacfully surrounded by loved ones, nature, or things that matter for them. Packing 457 point elk would be the finest way to go but somehow I am not in rush. Rather wait for the another chance packing cape bufflo, grizzly, or another monster elk.

BILL WELLS

DITTO..A good death should follow a good life, logically. Daniel Boone died peacefully while squirrel hunting, his favorite rifle across his aged knees. As shooters, we all have probably thought a bit about this, and perhaps ideally, after living a worthy life, an aged hunter like myself would love to go while elk hunting in the Rockies, our Dad's old Mauser across our lap, and hearing the echoes of our grown children's gunshots across the canyon, knowing they tagged out today.

Thank you, Lord.

Brett

I do not really care how I die as long as it is quick and painless. because I am going to freeze myself so in a few years they can thaw me out and fix what was wrong and I can go back at it again.

Barney the Dinosaur Because John, the writer of Revelation, would never have known what a dinosaur looked like, it's logical to assume he would have identified any vision of Barney as one of a dragon. Taking this into consideration, you might find the following Scriptures quite revealing: Revelation 12:3, "And there appeared another wonder in heaven; and behold a great red dragon…,"
Revelation 13:4, "And they worshipped the dragon which gave power unto the beast: and they worshipped the beast, saying, Who is like unto the beast? who is able to make war with him?"

Revelation 20:2, "And he laid hold on the dragon, that old serpent, which is the Devil, and Satan, and bound him a thousand years."




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