David E. Petzal - The Gun Nut

I would like to be able to say that I am pleased to introduce Bill Heavey, but that is a crock. I’m writing this because I was told that if I didn’t, I would be fired. I would like to be able to say that Bill and I are really great good friends despite our jabbing at each other in print, but that’s not true either. We regard each other with suspicion, much like two dogs circling a fire hydrant. 

But give Bill his due. He is making an excellent living writing about his life as the Dysfunctional Outdoorsman, and that is not an act. A friend of mine who was on a caribou hunt with him describes it this way: “Bill really is worthless in the wilderness. I know someone who wanted to beat him up on general principles, but I have to admit, he’s pretty funny to have around.”

So let’s leave it at that. Here are Bill’s columns, presented for your entertainment. Or you can watch police-car crashes on Spike TV.—DP

In the July issue of The American Rifleman, I saw that the U.S. military is dropping the underpowered and generally unloved 9mm Beretta 99 and going back to the .45 ACP. (The article never named the Beretta 99, which is fairly odd, or maybe not.)

When we went to 9mm Parabellum cartridge 20 years ago, everyone I knew who had any experience of combat was baffled. But the military’s logic was that we had to get our sidearms in line with NATO, and NATO used the 9mm, and that was that.

No one who is familiar with how cops and soldiers select guns should be surprised. In the early 1960s, Air Force General Curtis LeMay (who knew everything about dropping bombs on people but precious little about land war) saw a radical new rifle called the AR-15, and thought it would be just the thing for the Air Force. And so the Army, which had fought against the adoption of the AR-15 tooth and claw, became insanely jealous, and bought it for themselves (after screwing it up with several modifications)  as the M-16.

Eventually, the M-16 was tortured into an acceptable infantry rifle, but now, 40 years after it was adopted, we’ve discovered that its 5.56mm cartridge is not powerful enough to shoot people satisfactorily, and so we now have a new 6.8mm cartridge which may or may not be widely issued in the future.

And in the realm of law enforcement, there is the famous Dade County, Florida shootout in April 1986 between FBI agents and two heavily-armed robbers in which 2 agents were killed and 5 wounded in a savage exchange of gunfire that lasted only a few minutes. Both felons, despite being mortally wounded, managed to do an amazing amount of damage before they expired, and the FBI put the blame on its .38 Special and 9mm sidearms, which did not get the job done. We need something more powerful, they said, and eventually adopted the .40 S&W cartridge.

I happened to be talking about this with a New York State trooper who had 20 years on the job, and he said:

“The FBI didn’t need different guns. The truth is that they simply botched the arrest. Any county sheriff’s department could have taken those two guys into custody without a shot being fired. The FBI is real good at lab work and crime-scene investigation, but they don’t do too well with the other stuff.”

Maybe so. In any case, it was a great reason to get a new gun.

I got a question the other day from a shooter who wants to build his own rifle on a Turkish Mauser action and a barrel made by one of our major gun producers. He was interested in the best way to bed the barrel, and asked if the various methods really made that much difference.

You bet they do, said I, but let’s back up a minute. Since you’re going to all that trouble, why not start with a good barrel instead of one that will probably shoot OK, and might shoot badly? The barrel is 90 percent of the equation. If you have a good one there’s not much you can do to make a rifle shoot poorly. If you don’t have a good one there’s nothing you can do to make it shoot well.

A little while back I was talking with Chad Dixon, the gunsmith who builds Scimitar tactical rifles for Dakota Arms. Scimitars have to shoot 5 consecutive 10-shot groups that measure 1/2-inch or less before they leave the shop, so you could assume that Chad knows something about accuracy, and he said the following:

“If someone wanted me to build him an accurate rifle, I would ask how much he had to spend, and then put 80 percent of that into the barrel. The rest I could improvise one way or another. Spend your money on the barrel.”

Fellow gun nuts: We hear from each other, from gun writers, and from manufacturers, but gun dealers give us a perspective that we don’t get elsewhere. And so I’d like to introduce you to Scott Moss, who is the third generation of that family (all of whom have taken lots of money from me) to sell firearms. He’s agreed to come on the blog from time to time and tell us what’s on his mind, good or bad, about the guns he handles. If you’re interested in buying from him or selling to him on consignment, you can call Forest & Field, Norwalk, CT 203-847-4008.—Dave Petzal

Caesar Guerini. 
MSRP: $2,500.00 – $9,785.00
Contact:  http://www.gueriniusa.com

Caesar Guerini is rapidly becoming a name to be reckoned with in sporting clays and wingshooting circles and for good reason: It’s a fine Italian shotgun that actually comes with excellent customer service! 

Guerini looks after its guns and its customers in a way that is unheard of and unparalleled.  Their Pit Stop program allows for up to three complimentary tune-ups, one per year with a turnaround time of 5-7 business days.  They are readily accessible to customers and dealers, unlike many of their competitors, and they offer custom stocking for those who need it.  They have been careful to only put on enough dealers whom they can adequately supply with guns.

Most manufacturers will not enforce MAP (Minimum Advertised Price) on the internet because lower price creates demand that in turn keeps production going, but Caesar Guerini strictly enforces its MAP policy.  This keeps the line clean and prevents it from being footballed on the web by those to whom price is the only consideration.  It means that quality matters most and the customer ultimately benefits.

Speaking of quality, I feel that grade for grade, Guerinis have better wood and better engraving than their competitors, and excellent wood to metal fit.  And performance?  I have a 20/28- gauge Maxum combo that simply crushes targets.  What more could I ask for?  I love the guns and I love the company. –Scott Moss

The well-known liberal newspaper from which I get my news carried a story last week on the end of Dan Rather’s 44-year career at CBS News. You may recall that Rather broadcast a bogus story on President Bush’s service in the Air National Guard, and shortly in March 2005 gave up his spot as the network’s evening news anchor.

Dan, it seems, is damaged goods. But it’s not the first time he has lent his voice to something that was less than true. In September, 1975, CBS broadcast a “documentary” called “The Guns of Autumn,” which was purportedly an expose of hunting, but was so biased, so clumsy, and so blatantly rigged that it was panned by even the Columbia Journalism Review, which is the official organ of the Columbia School of Journalism and no friend to either hunters or gun owners. The narrator of this electronic excressence was Dan Rather.

So great was the howl from hunters that CBS felt compelled to do a sequel called “Echoes of the Guns of Autumn,” which attempted to justify the first show. Since then, the network has not gone near the subject.  As Ed Zern put it, “Now we know what the BS in CBS means.”

So there is Dan at 74, unwanted, unrevered, a man without a news desk. In one way it’s ironic. The public has a low opinion of journalists, but it’s about the only profession left where, if you get caught in a lie, you’re through.

Dear Dave, I will be hunting Mule Deer and Elk in Southeastern Idaho this fall - and need advice on binoculars. Most of my friends seem to think 8x42 or 10x42 would be sufficient...but, then again, none of them has hunted out West as far as I can recall - which is why I turn to you folks. Being an eyeglass wearer...should I go with porro prism or roof prism binocs?  What is the difference?

Thanks in advance for your assistance.

Jeff Harper
Fowlerville, MI

Dear Mr. Harper: Thanks for your e-mail.

Being an eyeglass wearer, you want to make sure that your binoculars--of whatever type--have fold-down eyecups. Just about all binoculars do, but check to make sure. Porro- or roof prisms have no bearing on this, just the eyecups.

As for power, I'd go with 10X. 8X is easier to hold steady, but I like that extra magnificatiion, and out West, you need it.

Porro prisms are the older, "dog-leg" style of binoculars; roof prisms are "straight-through" Porro prisms are cheaper to make than roofs, but roof prisms are slimmer, lighter, easier to waterproof, and they are what I would get.

Whenever I go to the SHOT Show, I try to sneak by the Dakota Arms booth without looking at the guns or making eye contact, because I know I have as much self control around Dakota rifles as the average Senator does around a lobbyist with an open checkbook. I mean, you see some stuff ...

Anyway, about 5 years ago, there was a rifle there that had been built for a customer who could not pay for it, and so it was up for grabs. It was a Model 76 African, which is the standard Dakota Model 76 in a heavy caliber and with all the bells and whistles. It was a .450 Dakota, which is ballistically identical to the .458 Lott--500 grains of bullet at 2,400 fps out of a 23-inch barrel.

This particular rifle had one of the most spectacular stocks I’d ever seen--fiddleback Bastogne walnut with figure running from butt to muzzle. (Bastogne walnut is a hybrid--claro walnut crossed with English, and it produces some very showy blanks.) The rifle had a dropped magazine, giving it a 5-shot capacity, mercury recoil reducers in the stock, and Dakota’s own muzzle brake, which you need. It had express sights and a Leupold Vari-X III 1.5X-5X scope in Talley detachable rings.

Well, what the hell. I figured if I ever went chasing after Cape buffalo again this was the ideal rifle, so I resigned myself to living on cat food in my retirement and bought it. So far, it has not killed a buffalo, but there is always tomorrow, and in the meanwhile it’s fun to just admire it or take it to the range and frighten people with its godless blast and inhuman recoil.

Coming in the October issue, we’ll be doing a special on deer camps. But we’re lacking an element. We need humor. Camp humor. Practical jokes. Tales of disgraceful behavior. Wretched mistakes. You know, all the good stuff that, if it were about you, you’d kill the guy who ratted you out.

Since we intend to print the best ones in the October issue, we will need your real name and e-mail address, and just to prime the pump, here is a favorite of mine, as told me 50 years ago in Maine by an old Maine Guide.

“We were deer hunting near the Dead River, and we had a guy in camp who was a real jerk and a drunk to boot. Never hunted, just boozed, never worked. And the booze screwed up his stomach, so he was in the outhouse all the time.

“Then one of the boys shot a black bear, and we got a bright idea. We kept the bear out of camp, and laid it out so that his legs stiffened straight. Then when our pal was sleeping one off we jammed the bear onto the seat in the outhouse with his stiff rear legs blocking the door from swinging inward, which was the way it opened.

“Then we waited. Sure enough, after a while the drunk wakes up, heads to the outhouse, and pushes the door.”

“'Oh, ‘scuze me,' he says.

“He paces for a while, then he raps on the door, hard.

“'Damn, get a move on,'" he says.

“But nothing happens.

“Finally he says ‘All right’ and gets a running start and crashes his shoulder against the door and gets his head inside. For a minute we didn’t hear anything, then real slowly he says ‘Oh…my…God.’ He comes back in the cabin, white as a sheet and never says anything or takes another drop for the rest of the hunt.

“We had to sneak the bear out of there and come back for it when he’d gone home, but it was worth it.”

That sort of stuff. This could be your 15 minutes of fame. Go to it.

A Note from Dave: In the half-year or so since this blog came into the world, it's become obvious that the people who read it are far above the average in intelligence and culture. And so for you we have a rare treat: a hunter and shooter whose intellectual attainments, wit, general nastiness, and fund of worthless general information are equalled only by my own--Tom McIntryre (no relation to Reba). Take it, Tom

IF YOU SQUINT enough, you just might be able to make out a descending line of succession from the Baron de Coubertin, father of the modern Olympics, to Pete Rozelle, architect of the NFL, to Mark Burnett, creator of Survivor, to, finally, David S. Farbman, commissioner and CEO of the newly announced World Hunting Association.  For those of you who have been as yet undisturbed by the knowledge of this association, it is nothing less than an effort to cast hunting as a full-blown NASCAR-style competitive sport.  A global tournament circuit is promised, with top professional hunters “competing head to head” in a “man vs. man vs. animal format,” in the words of Mr. Farbman on his web site’s video.  Rest assured, this will be a “cutting-edge (sic) non-fatal hunting competition,” using the WHA’s “patent-pending, respectful” tranquilizing technique, in which the hunters will vie for $500,000, or $600,000, or $300,000 (the figure sidles around somewhat) in prize money by tallying points based on the size of the deer they sedate.  There will be sponsors and product branding; there will be lights and cameras; there will be one of those giant cardboard checks for the winner; and there will be the enhancement of “the image and experience of hunting today and for the generations of tomorrow”—if the generations of tomorrow all happen to be under the influence of the WHA’s respectful tranquilizer.

I know some serious hunters who have never gone to Africa because they fear an infernal web of rules and regulations that will get their firearms confiscated and them thrown in jail where they will be beaten twice a day until they die. In the past 28 years, I’ve been to 6 African countries and can tell you that traveling with guns there is much easier than traveling with guns here.

Two years ago, while in the process of departing from Johannesburg Airport for the U.S., a friend of mine showed up at the first security checkpoint with a full box of ammunition in his carry-on bag. If that had happened at, say, JFK International in New York, he would have been shot dead at the most, or detained for questioning for several days at the least.

As it was, the young lady who was doing the checking said: “This is a very serious matter, sir. You could go to prison for this."