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Naughty and Nice: A Flyfisher's Checklist
Are you concerned whether you'll be on Santa's good list or bad list this year? Here's a little guide that will help you forecast whether you'll get that tender new 3-weight, or a lump of coal:
Excessive streamer fishing, even in clear water... naughty. Dry fly fishing... nice. Nymph fishing only... stupid.
San Juan shuffling. Very naughty. Seining a river, and telling others what you see... nice.
"Yielding" to your buddy a run "where you caught some fish last time," then going to the run where the fish really are, while buddy is parked out of harm's way for an hour or two... pretty naughty. Leaving your marooned friend with a bottle of water and an energy bar... nice.
Guides: putting a loudmouth know-it-all in a run, and asking that person to cast up-wind into a 30 mph breeze with a double weighted nymph rig (humility training 101)... naughty. Putting the Mrs. on all the big fish... nice.
Cigarette butts in the river... very, very naughty (shame on you). Picking up stuff you didn't leave on the bank... nice.
Engaging in a Fly Talk blog conversation... nice. Making said conversation revolve around "corn"... naughty.
Loaning your buddy a pair of waders... nice; knowing that they leak... naughty. Suggesting to your attractive female friend that "wet wading is the way to go" even though the air temp is 56-degrees, and it's runoff... both naughty and nice.
Secret spots, secret flies, and secret tricks... all naughty. Taking a kid flyfishing and sharing all those secrets... very, very nice. So much so, that I think this one trumps all the other naughty things you do over the course of a fishing season, and guarantees your spot on the good list.
At least I'm hoping it does...
Deeter
Giving your buddy a bottle of bourbon the first day of your annual fly-fishing trip.....nice. Never missing a chance to re-tell the story of how he over-indulged that night around the campfire and showing off pictures of him completely pie-eyed.........naughty, and PRICELESS!
Posted by: Wags | December 01, 2008 at 11:54 AM
Laughing while watching your friend slip on some slime and go face down ass up into the South Platte when he is in an arms reach of saving... Naughty. Handing him your last Jagermeister shooter to cheer him up afterward... Nice, and oh so delicious.
Posted by: Fat Guy Alex | December 01, 2008 at 12:46 PM
Soaking yarn steelhead flies in salmon egg oil (aka "goober juice") before casting...naughty. Catching the same fish on a waking dry fly...nice.
Posted by: Woodstock | December 01, 2008 at 01:09 PM
Oh... these are good
Posted by: Kirk Deeter | December 01, 2008 at 01:50 PM
Wading across a river to a choice run, but crouching on your knees as you do it so it looks way deeper than it is, and nobody will follow you... that's naughty. Piggy-backing someone little through heavy current... that's nice.
Posted by: Drew | December 01, 2008 at 03:30 PM
Crushing up a bag of potato chips and throwing it overboard, so the birds start diving, and other boats think the blitz is on... naughty. Sorry, I'm out of nice for the moment.
Posted by: KD | December 01, 2008 at 03:31 PM
Naughty.... Taking and grabbing onto your kid's line as he or she pulls out a big fish only to break it off as soon as you try to touch the lure.
Nice.... Just taking a kid fishing and not fishing yourself.
BTW Who won the trip???
Posted by: Matt Penttila | December 01, 2008 at 03:57 PM
Beating Deeter at BASS fly fishing... nice (Me)
Beating Deeter at trout fly fishing... NOT HAPPENING!!! (All of you)
Posted by: Alex Pernice the fly rod winner | December 01, 2008 at 05:08 PM
TR, coal would actually be useful in this day and age!
Posted by: Evan V | December 01, 2008 at 07:14 PM
While on the river, treating the elitist to a taste of their own medicine.....naughty but nice. Treating the humble noob to a few flies and some advice....very, very nice.
Posted by: | December 01, 2008 at 08:52 PM
Crap, forgot to put my name on the last one......
Posted by: Koldkut | December 01, 2008 at 09:11 PM
being on a float with your buddies and them not offering to take a turn on the sticks....naughty. those same buddies on that same day not catching any fish...nice!!!
Posted by: scott g | December 02, 2008 at 11:10 AM
Laughing 'cause yr buddy hooked his smokin' hot wife on the boob with a bad cast- naughty.
Her asking me to carefully remove said hook- 'cause her man couldn't stomach the job- probably naughty, but damn nice!!
Posted by: Blue Ox | December 03, 2008 at 10:14 AM