As a mostly incompetent hunter, I've never had qualms about applying any manner of vile, foul-smelling liquid on my person or clothing in the vain hopes said liquid would increase my odds of shooting a deer.
If someone claimed that secretions collected from the pre-hormonal glands of the Mongolian Cud-Spitting Yak simply drove rutting bucks crazy, I'd have one hand over my mouth trying to hold down breakfast while the other spritzed warm yak musk all over my body.
But as strange as the hunter's penchant for bad-smelling stuff is, at least it has a purpose, and even the most die-hard hunter doesn't use said scents recreationally simply because some smells are best avoided in mixed company. You know, things like estrous doe, fox pee, the scent of a greasy fast-food hamburger turning to carbon under a thermonuclear heat lamp
Huh? From the story:
Burger King is hoping to be known as more than “The Home of the Whopper.” This weekend, the fast food chain rolled out “Flame,” a new men’s body spray billed as “the scent of seduction with a hint of flame-broiled meat.”
That's right: a hamburger-scented cologne for men. Because nothing screams manly, virile seduction like the tantalizing scent of a flame-broiled Whopper. At least that's the underlying message of Burger King's extremely funny online ad for "Flame" which can be found here. Keep clicking the spray bottle for further campy poses by the creepy Burger King dude.
Now I'm all for anything that celebrates blatant carnivorism, and I'd love to see PETA's apoplectic reaction, but come on: I've been inside a Burger King and while the amalgam of scent that assaults your nose may not be quite as revolting as the aforementioned love sweat of the Mongolian Cud-Spitting Yak, it certainly doesn't conjure up images of sweet lovin' on a plush rug in front of a roaring fire. To me it has a more robust "where can we eat for three bucks and get the hell back on the road?" boutique to it.
So the question is: would you rather smell like a hamburger prepared by a sullen minimum-wage teenager with a penchant for luggies or the liquid waste products of various and sundry wild animals? I'm up in the air on this one...
From The Golf Channel:
Only seven Americans from the winning Ryder Cup team were in the Oval Office to meet with Presidents [sic] George W. Bush last month, and Steve Stricker was among those absent.
. . .
[I]t came down to priorities.
For the last dozen years, Stricker and his father-in-law, Dennis Tiziani, have taken family and friends to the Upper Peninsula of Michigan for a week of deer hunting when the season begins Nov. 15. The trip to the White House was Nov. 17. . . .
“[I]t wasn’t that hard of a decision because it was a family thing.”
What would you have done?
From the Chicago Tribune:
Sen. Ken Salazar (D-Colo.), a Western Latino with deep grounding in water and land issues, is President-elect Barack Obama’s choice to lead the Interior Department. . . .
Salazar led Colorado's Department of Natural Resources and served as the state's attorney general before winning a vacant Senate seat in 2004 . . . .
The Colorado senator campaigned vigorously for Obama in the Rocky Mountain state this fall, barnstorming rural areas in an RV preaching alternative energy development and its potential to revitalize economies.
After the election, he urged Obama to build his economic stimulus package around investments in energy infrastructure.
From the Star-Tribune:
The Bush administration could remove wolves from the federal endangered species list this week, an official said.
The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service had previously announced its intention to delist gray wolves in the Northern Rockies by the end of this year.
But Ed Bangs, the federal gray wolf recovery coordinator for the Fish and Wildlife Service, said it is possible a new delisting rule could be out and published in the Federal Register on or before Friday.
From the Fairbanks Daily-News Miner:
The Anchorage Assembly will consider a proposal to hire a specialist to track bears in the city.
The proposal from Eagle River Assemblyman Bill Starr calls for the city to hire a seasonal wildlife specialist to track bear sightings. The person hired would try to harass the animals out of town. If necessary, the person would also have the power to relocate or kill bears.
Starr said killing bears would be a last resort.
Chad Love: Biathlon Snipers
In keeping with the spirit of a recent Gun Nut blog and reader comments on the Canadian Women's Biathlon Babes calendar, I give you a related news item that may quench (permanently) any lustful musings on the admittedly intoxicating combination of hot women and guns if you happen to run into the wrong hot woman with a gun.
From the story:
Russia's top investigator is claiming that the Georgians employed mercenaries during their August war -- including female snipers from Ukraine and Latvia...That sounds an awful lot like the mythical "white tights" -- the exotic female snipers of Chechen war lore who were said to pick off hapless Russian conscripts. As the story had it, these stone-cold, blue eyed killers were said to be from the Baltics -- or Ukraine. They were sometimes described as Olympic biathletes recruited as mercenary sharpshooters by Chechen commanders.
Personally, I find the idea of gorgeous Baltic snipers stalking the battlefield to be uhhh... titillating. Dead is dead no matter how you slice it, but if you're gonna go it's better to be sent on your way by a vision in white than some giant, hairy, ill-tempered Slavic dude named Drago. Are the White Tights real? Who cares? They sound dead (pun intended) sexy to me.
Who needs tacky calendars showing plasticized bikini model bimbos striking stripper poses with racks when you can ogle women who really know how to shoot? But ogle with some respect. You never know when war might break out between Canada and the United States.
From Minnesota’s West Central Tribune:
Scott Edward Wagar faces charges of fifth-degree assault . . . .
He allegedly said he was fed up with his house being toilet-papered and had taken matters into his own hands [by spraying teenagers] with a "supersoaker" squirt gun filled with fox urine. . . .
What’s your reaction? Do you blame him?
From The Tennessean:
A 10-year project to restore elk in Tennessee and again make them hunted game is almost complete.
Final details for the state's first elk hunt in nearly 150 years are expected during the January meeting of the Tennessee Wildlife Resource Commission.
The first hunt is tentatively scheduled for October 2009.
From The News & Observer:
Catching a state-record fish is the dream of some anglers. Catching world-record fish, an improbable feat, is the pinnacle of sport fishing achievement in the eyes of many.
Gwen Frazier may have done both recently, but we'll never know, because she let the fish go. . . .
“I'm 5 foot 4 [inches]," Frazier said, "and the fish was exactly my height."
If that's accurate -- and we'll never know for sure -- the fish probably would have [topped both marks] said Randy Gregory, a fisheries biologist with the N.C. Division of Marine Fisheries.
Be sure to check out the full story, including a good photo.
This week’s Best of the Boards has the perfect ringtone for a fishing fanatic, a glowing lobster, and bucks caught battling in a deep freeze. See an amazing message board post our intern missed? Send it to him at firstname.lastname@example.org and it could be in next week’s batch.
Pics: Hook straightening stripers:
Pic: Find all eight deer in this picture:
Topic: Screaming drag ringtone?
Pic: Photoshop or record buck?
Pic: glow-in-the-dark lobster?
Pic: Unbelievable Kansas Buck
Pic: Bucks frozen in battle
Pic: Can you fit an elk in a Jeep Wrangler
Topic: Easiest Elk ever taken (while fishing)
Video: Mystery Kentucky Buck