David E. Petzal - The Gun Nut

One of the duties of older generations is to deplore younger generations, so in line with that, permit me to point out that any kid brought up with his or her nose stuck in a video game for hours on end is going to make a terrible hunter. Here's why.

The fellow hunter I would most like to meet is one that vanished from the earth about 28,000 years ago, for reasons we do not yet understand, after surviving more than 100,000 years of cold that few people on this planet can imagine. A typical man of his species stood about 5 feet 5 inches tall, and in good health would weigh between 185 and 210 pounds. He would be, according to a paleontologist with whom I once spoke, three times as strong as a modern man in excellent shape. "He could take any player in the NFL and throw him over the goalpost."

Here is what you might call a mini-quiz, except we're looking for opinions, not facts.

1. The Geico gecko is no longer cute. In fact, the little green bastard is getting pretty annoying. Which cartridge would you use to remove him?

2. Due to (global warming, Hillary, end of the oil supply, you name it) society collapses and in order to survive, people are forced to take to the hills, or the swamps, or whatever is available. When you pack up your few essentials, which handgun do you bring?

Go to it.

One of the reasons I've been a knife nut as well as a gun nut for all these years is the ingenuity and artistry that craftsmen put into such a simple thing as a knife. The late Buster Warenski, who was an incomparable artist, was once commissioned to re-create a dagger that had been found in King Tut's tomb. In order to do so, he had to reinvent a gold-casting technique that had been lost for 5,000 years. The dagger, should its owner ever put it up for sale, will sell for over $1 million.